Monday, May 2, 2016


Studies on the brain performed by scientists at Princeton University suggest that free will is an illusion.

Men refer to this as "marriage."

In related news, Bill Clinton reported that some of his computer files had been stolen the day before, but refused to go into detail.

Heidi Cruz was overhead telling a friend, "Trust me, ten thousand isn't enough."

They added that if the victim is conscious, however, then she was probably asking for it by wearing lipstick.

Oklahoma judges are unable to use the device.


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