CUCKOO FOR CANINES

When does "just a way of life" slip into "that person is crazy"? Not clinically crazy, but actually choosing to be more off the charts than a Julius LaRosa album. And, taking it one step further, is choosing to be crazy even crazier than actually being crazy?

Earlier this year, I wrote about Nano the Norwegian, a woman who decided one day that she was a cat. A doctor blamed her condition on a "genetic defect," which was just a nice way of saying, "Now get the hell out of my office."

So what would the doctor say to the approximately 10,000 people in the UK who indulge in "puppy play"? These aren't guys who take their dogs out on walkies. No, they, like Nano, dress up and become their animals of choice. 

Shake paws with Tom:

What's astonishing is that she lets him on the couch.

Tom, 32, a theatre technician from Tring, Hertforshire, split up with his fiancee Rachel because of his yearning to dress up as a Dalmatian.

Tom doesn't explain why he chose that particular breed. Maybe he likes hanging out in firehouses. I just hope it's not because he's a fan of 101 Dalmatians, because that just means he'd find 100 more guys like him.

So what's it like to be Tom? Let him explain:

 'You disappear and start chasing puppy toys. You go so deep into the head space, you crave it and want it. It's just magic.'

How much is that doggie in the window? And how much would
you pay not to pass by it at night?

"Head space" is an interesting phrase to use, considering it sounds like he's got plenty of space up there already. But at least he's cognizant enough of his new lifestyle to actually sleep in a dog training box lined with "wee-wee pads."  Yet even with that skill, he wouldn't be allowed to live in many New York apartments.

Like Nano, Tom doesn't seem to entirely embrace the animal life. He hasn't appeared to have given up fish & chips for Gravy Train. Nor is it likely that he has to "go for a walk" after eating. However, many of the puppy players do actually engage in canine-style sex, which isn't terribly unusual. Unless, of course, you're dressed like dogs. 

She still has him on a leash.

Although there's a UK "Puppy Pride" expo next weekend, not everyone is excited, including Tom's ex-fiancee Rachel -- although they're still on speaking (barking?) terms. So who's nuttier? The guy in the dog suit, or the ex who still wants to be his friend? 

If this trend catches on below the Mason-Dixon line, you can be sure of laws preventing adults from buying all products doggy -- costumes, toys, birthday cakes -- if they don't match their birth species. If nothing else, the puppy players would be called dumb sons of bitches. Which they'd take as a compliment.

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