Thursday, May 5, 2016


Not all the news from the Mideast is depressing. Some of it is stupid, as this recent headline from Egypt indicates:

"Tonight on Egypt's Most Wanted..."
Now, by "puppet," they don't mean the political lackeys who do the bidding of their oligarch masters, the American version of which you saw during this season's presidential debates. Nope, this is a real hand-up-the-ass puppet. 

As the Daily Mail reports, Abla Fahita "has been charged with defying 'the values and ethics of Egypt' after making sexual innuendo jokes on her television show." In other words, she's a phyllo-eating Joan Rivers, only with less stuffing in her head. 

But what really bugs the Egyptian autocrats is that Abla mocks them as well. You think Donald Trump is sensitive? Saeed Hassassin, a member of the Egyptian Parliament, is threatening to resign if he or any of his cohorts are mocked by this sack of felt. For a guy who probably considers himself a tough guy (his last name is "assassin" with an "H" stuck in front of it), Hassassin sure sounds like a little girl. Mommy, Daddy, that puppet made of fun of me! Execute it!

Lest you think this story is an outlier, here's another headline from the same country in the same week:

Don't give ISIS any ideas.
You know, because kids who watch those cartoons automatically start killing people.

OK, now I was never into Tom & Jerry, being more a Looney Toons kind of guy. So maybe a fan of the legendary cat and mouse can confirm that there were episodes where they threw gays off of rooftops, beheaded children, murdered 1500 POWs at once, raped women before stoning them to death, and engaged in other similarly zany adventures. 

But why single out Tom & Jerry? All the old cartoons I watched while growing up were violent. One of the funniest sight gags I ever saw was Elmer Fudd shooting Daffy Duck's beak off, and yet they aren't the government's hit list. Perhaps these Egyptians autocrats, like me, just don't like mice or cats.

The "top Egyptian official" who made the announcement, Salan Abdel Sadeq, appears to run Egypt's intelligence agency. Let me repeat that: Egypt's intelligence agency. As in intelligence. And if what he says is true about the cartoons, then there must be a whole lot of Tom & Jerry fans in their neighboring Saudi Arabian government, which, as of April 1, has authorized 82 beheadings this year. I wish they'd stick to My Little Camel.


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