Monday, June 6, 2016


Boxing legend Muhammed Ali, 74, died in Arizona  after a long battle with Parkinson's Disease.

While celebrated as one of the greatest athletes of all time, Ali is being mourned by B-list celebrities as a prop for creepy, self-aggrandizing photos even though he had no idea who the hell they were.

Scientists have described the event as a major breakthrough in the cloning of dinosaurs.

Ken Shupe, a tow-truck driver in South Carolina who supports Donald Trump, said that God told him to leave a disabled driver stranded on Interstate-26 because she had a Bernie Sanders sticker on her car. 

When asked for a response, God told reporters, "Shupe didn't understand what I meant when I told him to get lost."

In related news, a poll shows that the world's "only" existing idiots don't all live in South Carolina; it only seems that way.

When asked for a comment, God said, "Now do you understand the shit I have to deal with on a regular basis?"


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