It's been another banner week for American stupidity. From Pres. Trump saying that the death toll caused by Hurricane Maria is fake news dreamed up by the Democrats to make him look bad (trust me, you don't need anybody to make you look bad), to the QAnon folks who believe John McCain was actually executed for treason, we have gone from being the shining city on the hill to the dim bulb in the begrimed ditch.
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| I swear to God, I did a Google Image search for "stupid", and this was the third picture on the top line. That's all you need to know. |
You know what the takeaway phrase was, but examine the entire quote:
“But don’t you think people look through the fact that you can write a sensational nonsense book, CNN will definitely have you on there because they love to trash the president, and it will mean that you sell three extra books and you make three extra shekels, at the behest of the American people, of our country and our president that is doing a phenomenal job by every quantifiable metric — is that really where we are? I think people read through this.”
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| Multiply by 6. Go on, Eric, I dare you. |
If you asked Eric if he was anti-Semitic, he'd probably reply, "Of course not! I have no problem with semits." My guess is that he grew up hearing the phrase "three shekels" from Daddy Trump and his cronies. Not necessarily in an anti-Semitic way -- although I wouldn't past them -- but rather as an old school business cliché.
Yet, Eric must have realized it wasn't the smartest thing to say, because he immediately jumped the rails, cramming in as many words as fast as possible to make you forget what he just said -- including "at the behest of the American people."
At the behest of the people. Is he saying that Woodward wrote the book because we wanted him to? If so, then he's shooting down his own argument.
Or, is "at the behest" in reference to what comes afterwards -- that the American people and our country (what's the difference?) have asked the president to do a "phenomenal job by every quantifiable metric". Does Eric Trump even know the meaning of the word "behest"? What is he saying?
Apparently, the book really was written at the behest of the American people, because Fear: Trump in the White House sold 750,000 copies in its first day, making it Simon & Schuster's biggest pre-order ever. Maybe Eric's not so stupid after all. Nah, just kidding!
Because stupidity isn't sexist, let's now take on Julie Chen. Shortly after her husband, CBS
Chairman and CEO Les Moonves, was credibly accused of sexual assault by a plethora of women, Chen defended him in a way that probably made her fans cringe: "He has always been a kind, decent, and moral human being."
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| Are we sure he isn't the manager of Home Depot who got it on with the woman who stocked the shelves in Housewares? |
Always? Hell, I wouldn't even describe myself that way. More to the point, Les is in show business, a profession where cruelty, impropriety, and amorality get you to the top. And sex doesn't necessarily come into play -- all you have to do is read writer/producer Linda Bloodworth Thomason's chilling experiences with Moonves in this week's Hollywood Reporter.
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| Julie demonstrates the skill that impressed Les Moonves. |
Oh, and then there's the little matter of Moonves banging Julie Chen when he was still married to his previous wife. He has always been a kind, decent, and moral human being -- especially when he was sticking it to me under the desk.
In return for her favors, Moonves made her the host of Big Brother (a reality rip-off of 1984) and The Talk (a rip-off of The View). Considering that she was previously a news anchor, these prizes seem a little chintzy. But not so chintzy that she signed off last night's Big Brother episode with "I'm Julie Chen Moonves."
Oh, please. If you think you're going to win the hearts of women by evoking Hillary Rodham Clinton during Bill's reign of sexual hijinks, you're very, very sadly mistaken. Les, you see, is not the only thing standing between women and abortion access. Nor does he have a cute Southern accent.
Les Moonves was unknown to roughly 95% of Americans until a few weeks ago. They know him now as "a typical Hollywood libtard" (despite living in New York) who gets away with sexual assault. And Julie Chen is now the woman who's decided to take some time off of The Talk until this whole thing blows over. That is, if her job is still safe.
Not to worry, Julie. Les is said to be leaving his job with $700-million in the bank. That ought to bring some comfort when you read the words "sexual predator" next to his name for the rest of your life.
One last thing: Moonves statement regarding those charges? "Untrue allegations from decades ago are now being made against me that are not consistent with who I am."
Take it from Eric Trump -- if you can't say it in a simple sentence, you're hiding something.
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