Saturday, June 5, 2021

BREAKING NEWS: 6/5/2021

Former Goldman Sachs partner Peter Comisar is suing music executive Scooter Braun for deceiving him after Braun failed to raise $700-million for a new investment firm.

Wall Street insiders are wondering why the hell anyone with half a brain would trust an investor named Scooter.




In the latest chapter in the NFL's ongoing $1 billion concussion settlement with former players, the league on Wednesday pledged to halt the use of 'race-norming,' which presumes African-American players start with lower cognitive functioning, resulting in fewer payouts for black retirees.

NFL spokesman Zander Parkhurst said, "Going forward, we're going to presume that anyone who volunteers to play a sport where he's going to repeatedly get his head bashed already has lower cognitive functioning."

 

Republican Party Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel warned she would advise 2024 GOP White House candidate to skip the presidential debates unless changes were made to the forum.

Among the changes McDaniel demanded were "no questions from the moderators" and "the option for patriotic Republicans to storm the room and kill the Democrat candidate".

 

Hunter Biden claimed he had 'no recollection' of Lunden Roberts, the mother of his love child - but text messages reveal that she worked for him, and that she told him about the pregnancy in 2018.

Asked about the discrepancy, Biden said, "Shit, man, do you know how much crack I was smoking then? I'm surprised I remember my fuckin' name! Hey, you don't have any blow on you, do you?"





A bride collapsed and died at her own wedding in India - only for their families to make the "tough call" for her sister to marry the groom at the same ceremony and carry on with the festivities .  

The bride's father admitted, "It was either that, or we arrange to have her raped in order to kill her and call it even."


In Idaho, 78 year-old John Hall was shot with a stun gun by a policeman over a reported road rage incident.

Police spokesman Elmer Gunsel explained, "It could have been worse. Had he been black, we'd have knelt on his throat for ten minutes."

 

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