MOVIE OF THE DAY: "COP HATER" (1958)

New York, summer heatwave, 11:00 PM. A sweaty fellow wakes up and grabs a smoke before retrieving a pistol from his bureau as the words COP HATER appear during the opening credits. 

Cigarette in hand, he walks to a crib, where he softly kisses a baby, before returning to his bed to do the same to his wife. Sticking the gun in his pocket, he goes outside to the dank city streets, apparently on a homicidal mission -- when he's promptly shot to death. Oops -- he  was a cop. 

When saving money on making a movie, always have
the cast wear their own clothes.

Depending on your movie-watching history, that might be the only surprise in Cop Hater, but it doesn't lessen its entertainment value. (This just might be the first movie where the token black guy is next on the chopping block.) 

Wearing its low budget almost proudly on its blue-uniform sleeve, Cop Hater's opening generic-font opening credits and mainly flat direction is likely to steer away more demanding viewers. 

But you won't go wrong sticking with it. Like many low-budget movies of its time, as well as the then-current TV police series Naked City, much of Cop Hater was shot on location, both interior and exterior, just as New York was entering its decades-long grimy phase. And while much of the acting is a little stiff, the humorously-sarcastic back-and-forth between the cops -- "Drop dead" is used almost affectionately -- feels authentic and intimate.

For some reason, my wife doesn't cool off by
standing at an open window like this.

As the members of the 87th precinct try finding the sniper killing their guys, we get to know two of the cops. Mike Maguire is a sweaty, dog-faced detective whose wife, a sexpot named Alice, has had it up to here with his long, odd work hours. Nor does she care for his sweaty hugs. "Ooh, you're wet, you're oozin' wet!" she barks, as he offers the almost-childlike reply, "You used to like it when I was oozin' wet." These aren't the kind of people you want at your next soiree.

 

Carelli ponders how lucky he is to have a good-
looking girlfriend who keeps her yap shut.

Maguire's partner, Steve Carelli, has a more loving relationship with his jane, Teddy. Teddy's different than most woman, seeing that she's hearing-impaired and orally-challenged -- or, as she's described in Cop Hater, deaf and dumb. (I'm old enough to remember when that was an official medical term.)

Unlike similar relationships, Carelli didn't have to learn even the most rudimentary sign language, since Teddy's an expert lipreader.  Just don't ask her what she does for a living or how she can afford a nice one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan -- her sole "job" seems to be serving her boyfriend a beer when he drops by long enough to tell her he can't stay. 

Loggia insists that he's not John Cassavetes.

As with the previously-discussed The Longest Night, three recognizable featured actors make Cop Hater worth its 76 minutes. As Det. Carelli, great character actor-to-be Robert Loggia brings a little Method -- he's one of the few movie actors I've seen to get believably blotto -- with old-school training (Cop Hater was only his second credited movie role). Easily the best of the actors playing a cop, Loggia exudes a subtle charisma that kept him in demand, particularly on TV, until the end of his life in 2015 -- and beyond (four of his movies were released after his death, as late as 2019. That's a long career).

If you're onscreen for only three minutes, you
might as well steal every second.

Then there's Vincent Gardenia in his first credited movie part as the tipsy, goofy informant Danny the Gimp (another medical phrase you'll never hear in movies again). A dead ringer for the young John Belushi as he makes his entrance, Gardenia makes the most of his brief scene.

Greasy, sweaty, and a little punch-drunk, he turns a cliched character into someone you might not fraternize with but would go to if you needed the inside dope on anyone on the loose with a .45, as Carelli does here. And for his trouble, Danny is rewarded with a double-sawbuck to spend at the local dive -- or 180 bucks in today's dollars. Is Carelli trying to kill his best informant?

Orbach's older self would wipe the smirk off his face.

Cop Hater's most surprising actor is Jerry Orbach. Surprising because he's so young (this is his first movie role). and, if you were a fan of the original Law & Order series, he plays the leader of a teenage gang rather than the hangdog cop Lenny Briscoe. 

It's a little difficult to buy the 23 year-old Orbach as 17, but his Methodish style and all-around sullen look make for a compelling performance. As with a lot of younger actors at the time, he seems, like Robert Loggia, to be paving the way for a new breed of actors who inhabit their roles rather than playing them. Although it's doubtful that in real life he and his cohorts would have the name of their "social club", Grovers, plastered on the backs of their t-shirts like targets.

Don't look at the lobby card, either.

A sub-plot featuring a reporter who bollixes up the investigation keeps Cop Hater's story humming, as do, of course, the views of 1958 New York. Some viewers might object to the climatic appearance of the killer as a character we haven't gotten to know yet.

But he's just the paid triggerman. The real puppeteer behind the murders wasn't a shock to me -- or (SPOILER ALERT) anyone who looked at the movie's poster while entering the theater. But you don't watch a movie called Cop Hater to be surprised, do you?

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