Tuesday, April 18, 2017

SIT. HEEL. HEIL.

Wow. A guy goes to work for a few days, and suddenly the world starts going to hell. The US and North Korea on the brink of nuclear war. France possibly withdrawing from the EU. The adventures of the Facebook killer. (Oh, if only someone would kill Facebook!)

Nothing to see here, move along.
Let all those pittances step aside, however, for the latest setback that the so-called "Furries" have to face. Furries , in case you've forgotten, are grown adults who just can't find peace of mind unless they're dressed up as animals. Doesn't that make your problems seem small by comparison?

Now, I've written about the guy who enjoys dressing as a Dalmatian, the woman who believes she's a cat in human form, and people who engage in sex with stuffed animals (no Kim Kardashian jokes, please).

These folks can be considered Furry off-shoots. But there are enough real Furries that they have their own conventions. Except this year. The Rocky Mountain Fur Con has been cancelled -- not because of lack of interest. Quite the opposite in fact.

It would be stupid if it wasn't so
imbecilic.

Yes, Virginia, there is an alt-fur movement.

As if "adults" dressing up and marching around as Nazis in 2017 isn't ridiculous enough, now they do it while dressed as wildlife. To be sure, they've replaced the swastika with the official Furry Raider paw insignia. But otherwise, there's something mighty 1933 Berlin about their get-up.

But try telling that the Furry Raider fuhrer -- er, leader, a fellow with the Merrie Melodies name of Foxler Miller. Forget that his first named is reminiscent of Hitler. Foxler claims not to see any similarity between the Raiders get-up and that of his Bavarian buddies.


You try training your dog to do this.


Herr Foxler, you see, claims not to know much about World War II. That photo of him with the outstretched arm? Merely an "accident". Kind of like the invasion of Poland.

As with political protests, violence was threatened by both sides if they met at the convention. While I'm no fan of physical altercations, I'd pay good money to see a bunch of people in animal costumes seriously punching out each other. It would merely reinforce my low opinion of my fellow humans, furry or shaven.

These are the greatest Furries ever.
                                                               It isn't just fascist foxes that have the Furries up in paws. There's a pro-Trump sub-culture as well, who presumably want to make wee-wee pads great again. Maybe they're the ones responsible for Trump's hairstyle.

The Fur Con folks aren't without sin, however, with tax evasion and sex crimes on their rap sheets. Crime, it seems, happens in the best of species.

If Cheetah were alive, he'd be hanging his head in sorrow... if he wasn't double over with laughter. 

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