VENEZUELA: COME FOR THE OIL, STAY FOR THE REVOLT

 

They seem to have stopped at Burger King where
Maduro received a crown with his chicken
nuggets.

The first thing the networks should stop doing regarding Trump's weekend hijinks is using the phrase "war with Venezuela". Since the country didn't strike us first and hasn't returned fire, technically this is a war at Venezuela. 

Kudos, however, for not referring to Nicolas Maduro as "Venezuelan strongman". Maduro was duly sworn in as president in two sham elections.

"See my book? Get a little closer so you can
make out the title!"

What little coverage I've seen, though, seems to be following the Hey, Scary News Here! playbook. Anchors looking more serious than usual. Bright red background that positively screams DANGER! Talking heads Zooming in, always with their latest book propped up in the background. You like how I sound? You'll love how I write! 

Richard Haass goes the book plug route because he appears on these programs gratis, and his gig at Independent Director for Lazard Inc. is only $310-thou. Lazard Inc. is an investment firm, which explains his hey-this-invasion-might-not-be-so-bad attitude on the news. Investing in the military complex is never a money-loser, and "Independent Director" sounds like he doesn't have to abide by company rules.

The last time I saw something similar, it was 
Trump returning from court in 2024.

Something I always enjoy are the aerial shots following the police motorcade to and

from the Brooklyn courtroom.  It's one of the few times you'll see such smooth traffic flow on the Gowanus Expressway, not to mention hearing the words "Gowanus Expressway" spoken on network news without the words "dangerous", "crumbling", or "badly in need of repairs."  By the way, how the hell did Brooklyn become the federal pen instead of Washington, DC?

Shouldn't that be "Mispronounces"?

These perp parades always give the news anchors a chance to remind viewers that New Yorkers are used to this kind of headline-making activity, as well as how the NYPD can shut off entire neighborhoods to traffic faster than you can say "unrefined oil". 

Our anchor of choice today was Ana Cabrera at MS NOW, formerly MSNBC, and eventually MS WHERE. Cabrera was doing a decent job at being professional, until she mentioned the loose talk going around that Marco Rubio would be named Viceroy of Venezuela. Only she pronounced it as "VI-ser-roy". VI-ser-roy?

Trump is sure going to be
jealous if Rubio gets to dress
like this.

Now, I was almost ready to cut her some slack since the last Viceroy of India returned to Blighty in 1947 and Viceroy cigarette commercials haven't aired since 1971. Look at her, she's a kid, what does know about these things? 

Only she's 43 years old, and a graduate of Washington State University. But that's not the half of it. A few minutes later she pronounced "clandestine" as CLAN-des-tine. 

What the what? CLAN-des-tine? How did this person land not one but two network news gigs -- first CNN, then MSNBC. Three, if you count MS NOW. She ticked me off more than the Trump/Hegseth/Rubio wargames. If this is what we can expect going forward with coverage of Venezuela-gate, I'm going to take up smoking VI-ser-roys. 

One other thing. My daughter got her Masters at Washington State University and knows basic grammar. Ana Cabrera was best known in her school days as being on the track & field team. You tell me who's more qualified to host a network news show. 

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