Friday, April 3, 2020

UNDER COVID, PT. 10: STILL STANDING (AND SITTING)

"Cool! I don't have to shave to be on TV anymore!"
Looks like I was ahead of my time! The day after I first covered my face outside, Mayor Bill de Blasio asked all New Yorkers to do the same, informing us that asymptomatic people may be spreading COVID-19 without realizing it

By way of thanks, state Health Commissioner Dr. Howard Zucker reminded us "There is no clear evidence" that masks do any good at all.  You can just hear Gov. Andrew Cuomo giggling the background, "Gotcha again, Billy Boy!"


Imagine if the Bowery Boys had gone to law school.
While we're on the subject, on Wednesday's episode of Lunchtime with Andrew -- Live!, Gov. Cuomo interrupted his briefing to video chat with his brother Chris, a CNN prime-time host. Chris is currently quarantined in his basement after being diagnosed with COVID-19.

Brother of the Governor and getting the virus, both of which he had been reporting about. If this isn't a double conflict of interest, I don't know what is.
                                                               
"I'm back! And I want a fourth term!"
Chris informed his big bro that symptoms the night before were close to unbearable -- 103 fever, with chills so bad that he chipped a tooth from shivering, adding, "It was like somebody was beating me like a pinata." Sorry, Chris, that's called cultural appropriation, and you are officially cancelled. You, I mean, not your show.

But the icing on the virus was that in his fever-drenched illness, Chris hallucinated his father, former Governor Mario Cuomo. If that's now one of the symptoms, I'm going to wear a hundred masks. 

Here in the city, all non-essential construction has been put on hold indefinitely. While this is unfortunate for many workers, it's a blessing to us, since all work has been stopped on the addition to the nearby school. Our block is quieter than ever now, as is, of course, the rest of New York. 

The solitude doesn't necessarily guarantee a good night's sleep. For the last two weeks, I've been reading a book while in bed but often make it only four pages before putting it aside. Then when it's lights out, my wife and I will often find ourselves suddenly awake from 2:00 a.m. to 5:00 before resuming sleep for another two hours. Lack of concentration and difficulty sleeping, I've been told, are two common side effects of living in this stressful time.

Yet it's ironic that New York itself is the least stressful it's been in all the years I've been here. Little traffic. Empty sidewalks. No Broadway show to see or new restaurant to sample. We're living in a city that feels only half built. 

The only new things to appear in the city are field hospitals in the parks and makeshift morgues where bodies are moved by forklift. The closest thing to a cruise ship is the USNS Comfort, a floating hospital docked on the West Side, and big enough to hold 2,000 patients. 

That should come in handy. As of 9:00 this morning, New York City had 52,948 COVID cases, with 1,584 deaths. And the worst, we're told is ahead of us.

New Yorkers respond the way we usually do to the enemy -- with a big middle finger. Every evening at 7:00, throughout the city, we open our windows to cheer, applaud, hoot, whistle, and bang pans. For 10 minutes, the entire population, stuck at home, becomes a gigantic cheerleading squad. 

Officially, we're acknowledging the hospital workers, cops, and others risking their lives for us. Unofficially, we're just glad to be alive.

                                              **************************

The corner of 84th and York, April 2, 7:00 p.m. PLAY LOUD:




                                               

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