THE NEIGHBORHOOD TERRORIST

I can't tell if that's the outline of a
clown's face or an aerial shot of a glass of
milk between two pieces of
a broken donut.

Yesterday morning, hours before Joe Biden's inauguration, I received a notice from my Citizen app. Instead of the usual "report of smoke from apartment building" or "crash on FDR Drive near 79th", it was a report of law enforcement activity on 88th and York, about four blocks away.

Not just any law enforcement, but local police, state police, and the FBI. Now this was worth investigating! Feds rarely stake out my neighborhood,  where federal offenses tend to be classy, like art and antiquity scams at nearby auction houses. Braving the 34-degree cold (minus about 10 more when taking wind chill into account), I went out with smartphone in hand, ready to take any pictures worth sharing with the world.

Had I the nerve, I might have gotten a better
picture.

 When I got to the crime scene, an unmarked police car was blocking 88th Street, and an official-looking van was parked cater-cornered outside an apartment building. I tried scoping out guys wearing FBI jackets, but all I could see were regular cops. Disappointed but not surrendering, I walked two blocks north where a police car with flashing lights was parked. 

 

 

The kind of dramatic shot you usually get only
when there's a construction crane at work.

 

The scene was taped off, the police having closed 90th between York and 1st Avenues. What had started as an interesting criminal investigation now appeared to be a lead-up to the sight of a police van rolling down the street as a stern voice from inside says, 'PLEASE EVACUATE THE AREA NOW!" 

I returned home hoping to have shared some dramatic photos and a breathless report to my wife. Instead, I did the laundry.

That's right, men. There's nothing
women like more than a gun-
wielding maniac threatening to kill
politicians and civilians alike.

A few hours later, the internet provided details. A fellow named Samuel Fisher, also known as Brad Holiday, had been arrested for taking part in the January 6 Capitol insurrection. No antiquities scammer he! 

Yet this fellow fancies himself something of a people person. You see, when not planning violent acts of sedition and possible murder, Fisher/Holiday is a dating coach.  

Ladies, if you ever wonder why you can't find a nice single guy, check out Fisher/Holiday's selfie on the left. Then thank your lucky stars you're single.

And in a twist that not even I could dream up, his Eventbrite page promises "Killer Dating Strategies". A couple of week ago, he almost made good on that, as this report states:

Agents seized a shotgun, ammunition, two machetes, two tactical vests and other weaponry from Fisher's Chevrolet 1500 Tahoe SUV. The vehicle also contained an American flag, a newspaper with Trump's face on it, a poncho and vitamins.

Fisher/Holiday's credo on his website. Maybe he should
take his own advice.

But don't let that madman look fool you -- Fisher/Holiday does have empathy for the victims, as he stated on one of his social media sites: "I was there . . . it was awesome. People died... but it was fucking awesome if you ask me." Well, in Trumpworld that counts as empathy. 

If you want to see what kind of dating coach Fisher/Holiday is, you can check out his YouTube video. Around the five minute mark, he confides, "I only buy drinks for girls I fuck." Yup, this is a Trump guy for sure. 

Fortunately, thanks to fine work of the FBI, he's currently not in the position to continue hosting trivia and charades parties for singles. Americans -- particularly New York women -- can sleep a little safer in their beds.

                                                       **************

LOSERS IN LOVE

 

Only President Harding reached a larger
audience than me.

This ridiculous blog, which can't even decide which font to use from piece to piece, has at least one regular reader in England. This is proof beyond doubt that my influence reaches 3,000 miles, even if it's only as wide as his domicile.

So it is to that loyal reader I address this essay, which may provide a point of view that he might not see on TV or the internet. I don't live in Washington, which can often skew one's opinion of current affairs. As an outsider, I'm immune to "what should happen", and veer closer to "open your eyes, dummy".

And so I beg you, don't be fooled by those optimists who believe that once our Gangster-in-Chief is ensconced at his personal Spandau Prison -- otherwise known as Mar-a-Lago -- that his influence on American politics will suddenly diminish like a runway model's weight during Fashion Week.

How do I know this? My eyes tell me so, when they see this domestic terrorist in the Capitol putsch earlier this month:

That is the flag of the Confederacy -- which officially ended 156 years ago. This joker isn't the only American who proudly waves the Stars and Bars, originally carried by soldiers defending the right to own dark-skinned humans as free labor. Go to any right-wing "freedom" march and you'll see more Confederate flags than you will high school graduates.

I would wager, in fact, that the Confederate flag is seen more in 2021 than at any time since the Ku Klux Klan's heyday a century ago. In fact, it may be displayed now more than in the Civil War itself, even if their heroes Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee wanted it put away, never to be flown again.

Then there's the other symbol that keeps returning whenever the name "Trump" is spoken in reverence: 

I hate be one of those cranks who say, "When I  was growing up..." -- but when I was growing up, History teachers made sure to drum the fact into you that the swastika was the symbol of the most hideous political movement ever.

"Pssst. Over there, behind the door."

And yet swastikas and other Nazi regalia are proudly worn by "patriotic" Americans willing to break federal laws for their leader -- of whom they've been known to shout "Hail Trump!" as they thrust their hands in the air Hitler-style, and wear "Camp Auschwitz" hoodies. You remember, the folks who Ivanka Trump calls "American patriots" and her dad loves -- and which, technically,  makes Jared Kushner a collaborator. (Really, doesn't he give off the vibes of someone who'd sell out Anne Frank?)

There are more Nazis in the lower left corner of the
poster than my daughter saw in any text book. And
they're actors.

Now, unlike the Confederacy's loss, Germany's shellacking occurred a mere 76 years ago -- close enough that there are Americans who remember it, Yet  I don't exaggerate when I say that my daughter learned more about World War II from watching the 1940s Sherlock Holmes DVDs than she did in school.

Ergo, if the Confederacy and Nazi Germany can still find a following after all this time, the Trump movement theoretically should thrive in the Republican party for many years to come.

Now, Mitch McConnell will likely say that the Trump fans I've talked about here aren't real Republicans.  All I can tell you is that the people holding Confederate and Nazi flags are likely not registered Democrats. 

I bet Trump didn't expect his neck in the rope.

Mitch, however, can take heart in this recent headline: Far-right extremists call for the execution of 'coward' Trump after he asks for calm following riot. That should relax the Republican establishment... right?

To conclude: there's a sizable contingent of Americans who support slave-owners, Nazis, and Donald Trump. Or, to put it more succinctly, they identify with losers. Not enough to constitute a majority -- but a lot more than could fill a beer hall.

                                                     ****************

THEY'RE GONNA PUT HIM IN THE MOVIES...

 

Forget about history books, just show
people this.

During the last year or so of the Trump administration, a common
remark has been along the lines of, What will historians in years to come say about this time? I, on other hand, tend to skip the book and go straight to the movie version. 

And while the next Oliver Stone is already in their final year of film school, just waiting for the chance to be the first to put this four-year horror show on screen -- with more accuracy than JFK, one hopes -- I can't help but think we've seen The Trump Presidency before.

 

 

 

Just swap the name D.W. Griffith in favor of Donald Trump. Although it might be more factual to replace "Birth" with "Death". But when have facts ever mattered to MAGA voters?

 

 

 

D.W. Griffith strikes again! This seems like the perfect title. Problem is, the movie itself is a condemnation of intolerance rather than a campaign slogan. But as we've seen, Trump voters are easily fooled.

 

 

 

Pardon Laurel & Hardy? Try Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, Mike Flynn, Dinesh D'Souza, Charles Kushner, and anyone else named Kushner. Or Trump.

 

 

Make that "Fat Orange Face". Otherwise, perfect.

 

 

 

An admittedly problematic title. Fifty percent of the audience would think was about the Democrats. That's what you get when idiots are allowed to reproduce.

 

 

Otherwise known as Trump's power of persuasion.

 

 

 

 

In four years of the Trump presidency, the Republicans went from calling all the shots to losing the Senate, the House, and the White House. Even worse, businesses have stopped throwing money their way. But cheer up! You've got a few more Trumps waiting in the wings to right the ship.

 

 

 

Resign in disgrace, and thus be seen as a quitter by your fans before you had a chance to imprison all those Satanic pedophile Democrats as Q promised them you would? Or wait to be the first president impeached twice, thus making you a historic figure for all the wrong reasons? Decisions, decisions.

 

 

 

 

Fortunately, Joe was nonetheless officially declared the winner, no matter what fuckheads like Trump, Hawley, and Cruz were hoping for. However, the woman in the poster appears to be dreading Joe's hair kiss.

 

Haven't you been finding yourself in the same situation every day since January 20, 2016? But don't worry! Happy endings are still possible, as the next movie attests.

 

 

 

Hope you like the inside of courtrooms, Donnie. 

                            ***********************

FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES

It appears Trump could use one of those
pillows just listening to him.

The last several days, we've heard from the usual suspects defending or
condemning Donald Trump. Those doing the former have made themselves known to one and all, without shame. I mean, do we really need captions beneath the nauseating photos of Cruz, Hawley, Limbaugh, and the like? Although I still can't remember the name of the My Pillow guy. 

We should remember, however, that those doing the  condemning were once happy to be friends with Trump when it was convenient. You know, the way rich celebrities like hanging out together. Roll call, please!

Sure it was 14 years ago, but there were plenty of folks who had Trump's number then. Two of them weren't Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. Fey's "funny" expression doesn't fool me, while Baldwin appears happy to be in the presence of a fellow bloviator. I would gladly chip in to cover the cost if the Lincoln Project put this photo on a billboard in Times Square.

 

Here's a journalist I'd like to yell at. Hell, what do you expect from Barbara Walters, the daughter of a
nightclub owner who eventually went bankrupt? Want more of a connection? Walters was also the beard for Trump's reptilian criminal lawyer Roy Cohn! You can trust Babs, alright.

Al Sharpton's no surprise -- he's always been anybody's friend in exchange for a contribution to whatever "foundation" he was running. And Trump was happy to pay for good publicity with those people. But what about music/fashion mogul Russell Simmons? I just told you: mogul! Plus, like his homeboy Donald, Simmons has been credibly accused of rape by multiple women. Rich rapists gotta stick together, yo!

 

Now here's a toupee head-scratcher: Tony Bennett. Loyal Democrat, pro-gun control, anti-Republican. Even suggested that we brought 9/11 on ourselves. So what does he tell reporters after winning the Gershwin Prize in 2017? From Billboard: Bennett told reporters, “Washington is the greatest city in the greatest country in the world.” And to those who don’t care for the current Administration? “Well that’s their problem,” he answered, noting he knows the current President “very well,” and a performance for Donald Trump is likely. “Sooner or later I’ll probably be doing something for him,” he said. Maybe sing "I Left My Heart in Mar-a-Lago"? 

 

Man, if I had a quarter for every time I've used this photo on the blog... well, I'd have 75 cents. Maybe a buck. But that's a lot less than what the Clintons sold their souls for. (Wait, they have souls?)

And as for Bill and Donald's similarities: Impeachment. Credible rape accusations. (Funny how that keeps coming up.) Wives who were willing to be doormats in order to satisfy their ruthless ambition. Followers who were happy to forget their own moral compass when it came to their guys gaining power.

I give them credit, though, for one big difference. It took the Democrats over 25 years to regret sticking with the Clintons. It's taking at least some in the GOP one presidential term to realize Trump was their biggest mistake since forever. 

But what about the other 95%? Party!

                                                ****************

NEWS OF FUTURE PAST (OR: THINGS ARE ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE)

 DECEMBER 20, 1924:

JANUARY 20, 2021:

                              TRUMP TAMED BY WHITE HOUSE

                     Ejected by Voters, He is Expected to Return to Mar-a-Lago

                                     Copyright 2021, The New York Times Company.

WASHINGTON, Jan. 20 -- Donald Trump, once the demi-god of the reactionary extremists, was ejected from the White House in Washington, DC, today and immediately left in Air Force One for Florida. He looked a much sadder and wiser man today than earlier this month when he, with Rudy Giuliani and other radical extremists, appeared before a group of domestic terrorists in order to lead an overthrow of the Government.

His behavior during the remaining days of his administration convinced the chattering class that, like his political organization, known as MAGA, was no longer to be feared. It is believed he will retire to private life and return to his estate Mar-a-Lago.

                                                    ***************

Thanks to my friend Leo for the newspaper clipping!

PROFILES IN DISCOURAGEMENT

 From CBS News: There is likely not enough time to impeach and
remove Mr. Trump from office. Bringing the Senate back would require unanimous consent of all senators, since it is in recess until January 19, based on another unanimous consent agreement.

Time to play: What If!

There is likely not enough time to arrest the terrorists, since Congress is on recess until September 21, based on another unanimous consent agreement.

 

 

  

There is likely not enough time to search for the assassin, since
Congress is on recess until December 2, based on another unanimous consent agreement.

There is likely not enough time to declare war on Japan, since Congress is on recess until December 17, based on another unanimous consent agreement.

 

 

 

There is likely not enough time to hunt the assassin, since Congress is
on recess until April 25, based on another unanimous consent agreement.

 

There is likely not enough time to fire upon the British troops storming the Capitol, since Congress is on recess until September 4, based on another unanimous consent agreement.

                                           **********

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT INAUGURATION DAY WILL BE LIKE

Donald Trump, Jr,'s warning to officials confirming Joe Biden's election:

                                                  "We're coming for you."

Domestic terrorists seen at the attack on the Capitol building:

6MWE translates as "6 Million Weren't Enough" -- as in the number of Jews killed by Hitler. "Camp Auschwitz" is self-explanatory.

Senator Josh Hawley's reaction to the terrorists:

President Trump's reaction to the terrorists:

 Ivanka Trump's reaction to the terrorists:

Ivanka Trump criticised for calling pro-Trump mob 'patriots' 

 

Republican National Committee reaction to the above: 

 

 RNC meeting cheers Trump one day after Capitol violence

 

                                                     *******************

 

BOOK OF THE DAY

 

WASHINGTON, D.C.: JANUARY 6, 2021

Remember how you felt when they want you to forget.

Remember what you saw when they say it didn't happen that way.

Remember what you knew when they contend it couldn't have been predicted.

Remember your anger when they insist they had nothing to do with it.

And when they bring up Hunter Biden, Hillary Clinton, Socialism, Black Lives Matter, Obama, Antifa, Bengazi... remember the name of the man on the signs, the flags, and the lips of those who were there. 

Remember all this when it happens again. 

                                                           ***************