BREAKING NEWS: 9/15/15

Gary Richrath, former guitarist for REO Speedwagon, died Sunday. He was 65.

His death marks the first time anybody ever knew the name of anyone in REO Speedwagon.

NASA revealed that astronauts create 180 pounds of excrement that burns up in the atmosphere annually.

That amount, NASA admits, still doesn't come within light-years to the amount of excrement that Congress creates that burn up on C-SPAN.





Hillary Clinton said making Bill Clinton her vice presidential running mate 'has crossed my mind,' but conceded it wouldn't be possible.

"For one thing," she explained, "that would mean sleeping together every night."

A perfect storm of Bible prophecies, the Hebrew calendar, the stock market jitters, a blood moon, and an author who claims to have had a near-death experience are all convincing Utah Mormon survivalists that the world is coming to an end this month.

It doesn't help, say the survivalists, that Donald Trump is at 40% in the polls.




On the latest episode of the reality series Project Greenlight, Matt Damon explained to African-American producer Effie Brown that it's important to consider diversity in casting, but not producing, directing or writing.

"However," Damon admitted, "they make for great housekeepers, chauffeurs and shoeshine boys."

Devo singer/bassist Jerry Casale, 67, married Krista Napp, 26, last week on September 11. The reception featured a wedding cake in the shape of the World Trade Center, while each guest was given a box cutter as a souvenir. 

Casale told reporters, "Krista and I are thrilled, not just to have gotten married, but to have held this event in Santa Monica instead of New York, where they would have kicked our asses from here to Saudi Arabia."









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