THE PAST IS NO PRESENT

They even wave the same.

Remember way back in 2016 when, despite evidence to the contrary, the DNC just couldn't believe that voters were sick of political families handing the White House back and forth like Park Place in an eight-year game of Monopoly? 

Long time ago, right? Like, so long ago, the DNC can't remember that their unbeatable candidate with the overly-familiar name was beaten. To forget is human; to remember... well, who wants to do that? Let's try it again and see if works next time!

Joe Kennedy III explains how
he's different from
Uncle Jack.

A faulty memory is the only way to explain the Democrats' choice to give their rebuttal to Pres. Trump's State of the Union speech next week: Rep. Joseph P. Kennedy III.

A Kennedy? Really? You mean there weren't any Roosevelts lying around?

You can imagine the brilliant thinking that went behind this. First and foremost, he looks like Conan O'Brien. The kids like him, right?

Then they finally admitted the Clinton brand was right up there with Enron, Monsanto, and New Coke, so Chelsea -- their very own Ivanka -- was out of the question.

Yet, at the same time, they needed to do what they did so well in 2016: ignore the potential presidential candidates who excite the new generation of voters. The same voters who either stayed home, wrote in Bernie Sanders name, or -- gasp! -- went with Trump just for the heck of it. (Fun fact: seven million people who voted for Trump voted for Obama in 2012. Deplorables, all of them!)

It's reminiscent of what the GOP did after losing the election in '08 and '12: Regroup, figure out what went wrong, reach out to voters who weren't comfortable with them... then promptly go back to their old ways.

You know how Democrats like to remind us that the GOP appeals to a generation that is quickly dying out? That they need to lose their reputation as the party of rich homophobic racists in order win the new generation? Wise advice!

This should make a splash
at the box office.

So who are the Democrats putting front and center next month? A guy with a name whose voters are quickly dying out, and is associated strictly with rich sexual harassers and abusers -- in the time of Harvey Weinstein yet. The same Harvey Weinstein who gave $250,000 to the Clinton Foundation. Everyone's connected!

And, as younger moviegoers are to discover in April, the Kennedy name is also linked to bad driving. Those same Millenials who only recently learned the name Dylan Farrow will soon be seeing Mary Jo Kopechne portrayed at their local triplex. And unlike the former woman, there's no arguing about what happened to the latter -- or how an entire political party made excuses for it.

Let me fill you on what the generation that wasn't steeped in Kennedy stew for 40 years is going to say: Wait. You're telling me that Democrats knew Ted was a serial sexual harasser? And sleeping with his intern... then drove her drunk off a bridge... and left her there... and they did nothing about it?

As Democrats like to say, let's have a national conversation. Oh yes, please.

You know who could make a swell Trump rebuttal? Rep. Tulsi Gabbard of Hawaii. Let's see what she's got going for her:

The DNC says aloha to Tulsi

• A woman.
• Young (36).
• Veteran of the Iraq War.
• Pro-environment, anti-regime change.
• Opposes cuts to Medicare and Social Security.
• Pro-choice.
• Progressive on LGBT and marijuana.
• Vegetarian.
• A minority (the first Hindu in Congress).
• Happily married.
• A surfer.
• Photogenic as all get-out.

Ticks all the boxes, right? Except for one: she was the first Congressperson to endorse Bernie Sanders -- who, polls said, was the only candidate in either party that could have beaten Trump.

Oops. Let's get a new member of a political-hack dynasty instead! It worked before!

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