UN-BELIEVABLE

The police boat is all that's protecting us from a
terrorist attack.

For many Americans, the arrival of autumn is signaled by the changing colors of the leaves. For Upper East Siders like me, it's the replacement of commercial and personal boat traffic on the East River by those from the NYPD, Coast Guard, and Homeland Security. 

That means the United Nations General Assembly is in session, and woe to New Yorkers who depend on ferries during daylight hours. And don't even think of driving through Midtown, when the police will close off streets if a delegate wants to step outside for a smoke. You want security? If Princess Diana and her creepy boyfriend had been in New York instead of Paris, they'd be alive & well while watching Prince William and Meghan Markle continue the family tradition of being tabloid fodder. 

I weep to realize this is the best we can do.

This year, the General Assembly was also the time of the rare times Our Idiot Mayor and Our Gangster President were in town at the same time, the former ending his summer-long vacation in Iowa with nothing to show for it other than continuing to be New York's #1 laughingstock. As for the latter -- well, he's proving to be right at home with the world's despots. The nations are united, it seems, in being run by criminals, crazies, and corrupt theologians.

Earlier this week, I walked to Midtown in order to get a gander at the scene, mainly with

This is as close as I could get, but I could
still smell the mendacity.

the desire of running into one of the major anti-Trump protests that have been occurring. But it was when I got near the UN that I realized I'd be disappointed. It was early afternoon, and the major marches are timed for their liveshot on the 6:00 news. Protesters might not accomplish a thing, but give them credit for being media savvy. 

I would have to depend, then, on whatever crossed my path, like the representative of the LarouchePAC. You remember Lyndon Larouche, don't you? Usually described as a "perennial presidential candidate", he was also the most dangerous of creatures: a paranoid nut who was occasionally lucid, as was his acolyte before me. 

He started off appearing rational, before going off on wild tangents, like flying to Mars and confiding that Alexander Hamilton was assassinated by proponents of the Federal Reserve. After speaking for three minutes without taking a breath, he asked me to "sign up" -- for what, it wasn't clear. I explained that I don't do signings, and got the hell away from him. 

From that point on, I made sure not to engage anyone else in conversation. I would never learn what the Falun Dafa was or why they were persecuted, but at least I could admire how they color-coordinated so well with the Subway restaurant. By the way, did these folks really think that China's reps would see them and say, "You know, we're on the wrong side of this Falun Dafa business. Once we're home, I'm taking this up with President Xi pronto!"

Some protesters could afford to tool around in a truck with electric signs flashing messages and pictures. Somewhere there, however, they could have explained just what the hell Ambazonia is. To me, it sounds like the movie where the Three Stooges go on safari.

Um, you're about five years too late. But thanks for the suggestion!

These deluded folks appear to have a grudge against man in the moon. Come back when you're serious!

Genuine sentiment or subtle sarcasm? And why did they make it look like a kidnapping ransom?

The only encounter that could have topped any of these for sheer weirdness would have been something like -- oh, I don't know... Maybe Groucho Marx reincarnated as a police horse. So that's exactly what happened. The joke's on him if he informed God that he wanted to return to film a remake of Horse Feathers.

And so I returned home, reminding myself I was supposed to be in awe of the world's leaders temporarily setting up shop in my city. "Awe" is correct, I suppose, when one considers of the mess they've made of things, where rational thinking is considered the enemy, science a conspiracy theory, and beauty is smashed to bits wherever possible. It's appropriate that the land where the UN now sits was once the location of the city's slaughterhouses. Nothing changes, it seems, but the architecture. 

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You can click this link and watch the presidential caravan leaving the UN to drop Trump off at whatever hotel would have him. In the 38 years I've lived in New York, this is the closest I've ever gotten to him -- and hope never to again:

https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipPZjDUFj0WXYOM1rD_76ig1D_-2U56dGwR7MnApJOR78dz-TIbDe7u9HlGUbPAMfA?key=cElGX0RJMzJWOE41ZVBFREduVUlMQldRcGRjaFFn