Tuesday, January 5, 2021

BREAKING NEWS: 1/5/2021

Gerry Marsden, the leader of the 1960s British band Gerry & the Pacemakers, has died at the age of 78 of a heart attack.

Marsden's last words were, "Where's a pacemaker when you need one?"


In related news, Paul McCartney scored his first number one album in 31 years with McCartney III, which he wrote and recorded while quarantined during the pandemic.

McCartney thanked all 85 million people with COVID for making it possible.






Sen. Mitt Romney called his fellow Republicans' attempt to overthrow Joe Biden's election an "egregious ploy" to enhance their own political ambition.

When informed of Romney's comment, the Republicans demanded to know what "egregious" meant. 

 

 

Nancy Pelosi's house was vandalized with a pig's head, and graffiti demanding the $2000 stimulus check. 

While the perpetrator has yet to be formally identified, the graffiti was signed "Cofeve 45".

 

 

Porn star Aria Lee is being sued for defamation by director Craven Moorehead. Moorehead said Lee's accusation of sexual assault was "malicious, defamatory, and hurtful."

Moorehead said that it also describes how he likes sex.

 

In other show business news, Zach Braff, 45, went on Instagram to wish his girlfriend, Florence Pugh, a happy 25th birthday.

In response, Pugh told Braff how proud she was that someone his age even knew what Instagram was.

 

 

 

                                      

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