BREAKING NEWS: 6/22/2021

Sheldon Whitehouse, the Democrat senator from Rhode Island, is facing scrutiny over his decades-long membership in the allegedly all-white private Bailey's Beach Club in Newport.

Whitehouse disputed the charges. "You should check out the guy who empties the garbage every day. If he's not black, I don't know who is!"

 

Republican Senator Lindsey Graham said that a sweeping Democratic-backed election reform bill was “the biggest power grab in the history of the country.”

"And by power grab," he added, "I mean allowing Democrats to vote."

 

Greg Abbott, the Republican governor of Texas, vetoed 20 bills on Monday, including those regarding teaching high schoolers about child abuse prevention, and a canine anti-cruelty law.

Abbott explained that abusers of children and dogs tend to vote Republican. 

JAMA Internal Medicine reports that for every year smoking
marijuana, your ability to recall common words slide. 

However, those words don't include "Oh wow", "Here", and "Good stuff, man". 

In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Donald Trump said he "has not conceded" the November election.

Asked why, Trump explained he has difficulty with words of more than one syllable.

The Roman Catholic bishops of the U.S. voted to begin drafting new guidance that could deny President Biden and other pro-choice public officials Communion due to their support of abortion rights.

A spokesman for the bishops said that all of this be different if only Biden raped altar boys instead.

 

 

In Thailand, Ratchadawan Puengprasoppon was awakened by an elephant crashing through the wall into her kitchen.

 Puengprsoppon admitted she should have been more specific when ordering a trunk with an ivory trim.

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