BROADWAY THE SCALPED WAY

"Joke's on you, kids. You can't afford it!"

 A few weeks ago, Jimmy Fallon, Lin Manuel Miranda, and bunch of Broadway
musical actors performed an original number on The Tonight Show promoting the return of live theater in New York. 

And somewhere in middle America, teenagers who watched were thinking That's where I want to be.

That starts with T, and rhymes with P, and stands for
price gouging!

So they move to New York, ready to see the revival of The Music Man, before realizing they should have gotten a degree in stockbroking. And so should you.

Cheapest ticket? $99. Good orchestra seats? 595 bucks. And that was before the scalpers "secondary market" cashed in. 

Now, you have the pleasure of watching Hugh Jackman warble about those six and a half dozen trombones for $4,000. That's if you're not celebrating the holidays by keeping your calendar clear for December 22. That's when a fourth row orchestra seat goes for only $11,777.49. 

And the only reason that's as much as it is is because of the $2000 service fee.  It's as if the scalper is having a double laugh at your (literal) expense.

"You paid how much to see me?"

If old-fashioned musicals aren't your speed, there's always the concert-gussied-up-as-one-man-show Springsteen on Broadway.  If you acted fast, I mean. The first month sold out in minutes. Fans of The Boss will have to cough up $2,000 for a pair of ducats -- and that's in the balcony. 

Orchestra? Thousands upon thousands. Again, that's each.

Happy, because people could
afford it in 1957.

The original, non-scalped tickets for Springsteen went for up to $850. When they refer to  Bruce Springsteen as the  entertainer of the working man, they must be talking about Goldman Sachs.

The annual abysmal ratings for the Tony awards should come as no surprise. The show essentially ignores the "straight" plays while acting as a cheerleader for musicals that your average tourist -- the alleged target audience -- either can't afford or smartly refuse to shell out for. Unless you have money to burn or are a professional scalper, you'll have to be satisfied with the cable TV in your hotel room. 

But, boy, those shows sure look fun, don't they?

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