LOOK, YOU MUGS!

I'd trade all of them to get back my Combat Rock
t-shirt from The Clash concert I attended in 1982.

As I write this at 7:03 a.m. EDT, there are over 240 t-shirts on eBay featuring Donald Trump's
 mugshot, which was taken less than 12 hours earlier.  The peddlers of these items fall into three categories: 1) TRUMP SUCKS; 2) TRUMP IS JESUS REINCARNATED; 3) WHATEVER SELLS MERCH. This proves beyond doubt that Trump's promise as that, as president, he would be good for business. Just not his business.

Trump himself got into the act, putting the photo on his Twitter/X/whatever it's called account, with the caption NEVER SURRENDER!, knowing full well that his fans won't take into account that he surrendered at Georgia's Fulton County Jail.  The same fans, you might remember, who willingly give their hard-earned money to a guy who they admire as a brilliant billionaire. 

Well, he's brilliant, anyway. Unlike his cohorts' mugshots, ranging from goofy grins that read I'm gonna be a hero to Trump voters! to pensive gazes that scream Uh oh, this isn't playing out like I hoped (hi, Rudy!), Trump appeared to have practiced for hours in front of a mirror, working on a tough guy scowl that would play to the lowest common denominator.

Do not believe commentators on MSNBC who bow their heads and say the Trump mugshot is a "solemn moment" in American history. This is what they've been dreaming of for seven, and possibly 27, years. Once the cameras were turned off after their roundtable discussion last night, you can bet the sound of Champagne corks popping inside 30 Rock could be heard in Jersey City.

It's an adage that puts the "hoar" in "hoary": Be careful what you wish for. For, as a cursory glance on eBay will prove (and I didn't even check out the posters, coffee cups, and onesies), the mugshot seen 'round the world will also jazz up the hardcore Republicans/ Libertarians/Unaffiliated Right Wingers who will dive deeper in Trump territory than ever before. Whether they realize it or not, they wanted this to happen.

Naturally, Trump himself definitely was looking forward to it. No other person has ever been this excited about martyrdom -- that is, if standing in front of a digital camera can be compared to being nailed on the cross. Oh wait, people are doing it! Like the best entertainers, Trump knows what his audience wants, and will give it to them by the truckload -- as long as they keep buying tickets to the show. 

There was a time when Donald J. Trump openly looked down upon these rubes as New Yorkers do cockroaches. Now he plays it closer to the vest. It's A Face in the Crowd for the 21st century. Only this time, the rubes will never catch on. Anyone interested in Civil War 2.0?

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