RADIO SILENCE

 I don't know the average age of my regular readers, but it's probably in the area of "But I feel young!" 

This is a good thing. It means they're healthy and aware they don't have to pretend anymore. They know their days as trendsetters, creators of popular culture, and arbiters of all things cool are over. 

They can take heart that the generation directly behind them are currently going through the same drama. Justin Timberlake, 43 and Jennifer Lopez, 54, are the latest casualties in the war for relevance. Two of the biggest pop stars of their days, they now see their latest albums struggling to find a place on the charts they once ruled. Where critics and fans alike once swooned, they now yawn: What are you oldtimers doing here? 

Timberlake took a hit even before the album was released, thanks to some unflattering stories in Britney Spears memoirs. His appearance on Saturday Night Live didn't make waves, nor was anyone excited about the singles. Looks like Justin can't get that sexy back.

Lopez is in an especially desperate place. Having spent $20-million of her own money to make a feature-length video to promote her latest album This is Me... Now, she saw neither make a dent. More humiliatingly, many of her current concert dates were cancelled due to lack of ticket sales, forcing her to rechristen it a Greatest Hits tour. No word on if she's accompanied by her "ghost singers" or just lip-synching

J-Lo probably thought she could pull a Madonna, who hasn't released an album since 2019, and whose last Top 10 single was seven years before that, but is guaranteed sold-out tours. No matter that for her latest round of shows she needed to undergo physical exams more suited for a SEAL  in order to make sure she was insurable. But since she, like J-Lo, lip-synchs for a living, she didn't need to see an ENT. 

Justin and J-Lo need to realize pop music changes every decade. The year 1956 can be represented by "Heartbreak Hotel", "The Wayward Wind", "Que Sera Sera", and "Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity Boom)". Jump ahead 10 years, and everyone is listening to "Tomorrow Never Knows" on Revolver.  In 2014, the charts were ruled by Lorde, Soko, Aloe Blacc, and Nico & Vinz. Ask any of them about their latest hits. 

A piece of friendly advice to Justin Timberlake: focus on producing hit records for younger singers. For J-Lo: ask your fourth hubby to put you in his next movie. And a reminder to both of you: one day Taylor Swift will be over. 

Just kidding!

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