PEOPLE WHO RENAME PEOPLE

The English teacher you wish you had.

 George Carlin, the most playful of comedians when it came to the English language, had a bit where he listed perfectly good, snappy phrases that had been replaced by lumbering words for no good reason. The one example I remember was the elimination of "shell shock" in favor of Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder. 

There was nothing wrong, insulting, or racist about shell shock. If there was any soldier who disliked it, it was only because he was shell shocked by somebody who wanted to feel good about themselves for "helping" him. 

There are more replacements for old phrases than you can shake a stick (or quiver a detached tree limb) at. But recently I discovered a new phrase for "old" -- as in "old person". No longer are my fellow baby-boomers "senior citizens". We are now "people of age".

Thin hair, crow's feet, 
vanishing lips, and chin wattle
aside, do I look old to you?

I'd like to know which nosey Gen-whatever decided to "help" me feel better by trying to convince me I'm not old. "People of age" doesn't even make any sense, since every living person is some kind of age.

By society's standards, I'm old. I'm fine with that, and not just because young people offer me their seats on the bus and subway. While to the world I look old, I don't feel old, especially when walking like a New Yorker, taking long strides like Uncle Sam conquering other continents, and slinking through crowds with the skill of a greased-up mamba. 

This kind of verbal juggling can occasionally have unintended consequences. I remember everyone using the phrase "colored people". Over time, it was replaced by "Negroes", then "black", then "African Americans", then "Afro Americans", before returning to "black" for several years. Just as I was getting used to it, I woke up one day hearing "people of color." Which sounds an awful like "colored people", the phrase we were supposed to get rid of. But hey, I'm a person of age, what do I know?

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