2) Be sure to fire whoever was responsible, rather than underling who said, "Wait, why are we hiding evidence?" before being forced to do so under threat of job termination.
3) Baldwin defenders hated you from the beginning. Baldwin haters hate you now. You are in what is known legally as a lose-lose situation.
4) You wanted to make a name for yourself with this case. Too bad it was "Idiots."
5) A total of four prosecutors quit or were forced off the Baldwin case. That seems like a signal something was going wrong from the beginning.
6) Thanks to you, Baldwin fans -- and maybe Baldwin himself -- will henceforth confuse "exoneration" with "acquittal".
7) The heatwave coming your way next week will be the wrath of God you'll be feeling.
8) On the bright side, now that Bruce Willis is officially retired, you've given opportunities to moviemakers looking for a name to bring attention to what would otherwise be ignored, straight-to-streaming mediocrity.
9) You wouldn't know it, but just because Alec Baldwin is a violent, homophobic, misogynistic, egocentric, ugly-on-the-inside, sociopathic ogre didn't mean I want to see him stewing behind bars for no good reason. I wanted it to be for an honest-to-gosh legal reason. Even for riding his bike on the sidewalk. It's more fun that way.
10) You've done the impossible: turned Alec Baldwin into a martyr. New Yorkers will never forgive you.
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