MOVIE OF THE DAY: "THE HATCHET MAN" (1932)

As with our previous movie, Old San Francisco, The Hatchet Man presents Hollywood's take on Chinatown, its residents, customs, and, most importantly, crimes. 

In something of a Greek tragedy-meets-Warner Brothers, professional assassin Wong Low Get is assigned to kill his lifelong friend (and tong rival) Sun Yat Ming. 

Wong inherits Sun's business and six year-old daughter, Toya, who eventually grows up to be his wife -- yes, he marries his stepdaughter! So you kind of understand when she gives it up to Wong's young bodyguard Harry En Lai. (I know: weird name Harry, right?)

Filled with a murderous fury, Wong nevertheless lets the two lovebirds run away, although promising revenge if Harry ever hurts Toya. And boy does he ever get revenge. To quote Confucius, Don't fuck around with someone whose job title is the hatchet man.

Robinson looks more Chinese here than he
does in The Hatchet Man's 74 minutes.

The Hatchet Man multiplies by several times Old San Francisco's "yellowface" trope by casting white actors in all the lead parts, the most egregious to modern day audiences being Edward G. Robinson in the title role.

Now, I take a back seat to no man in my enjoyment and admiration of Edward G. Robinson, an actor whose face -- whose eyes -- can register more emotion in one scene than most actors can in a dozen movies combined. His lifelong adeptness in playing any character -- criminals, chumps, newspaper editors, cops, etc. etc. etc. -- almost made one take him for granted. He always delivered the goods no matter what the role or genre.

"What's the password?"
"Swordfish teriyaki."

So now that we have that off the table... not for one second does Robinson convince as a Chinese character. He doesn't even attempt an accent, and wears only the barest "slant-eyed" make-up. Director William Wellman likely knew audiences were paying to see Little Caesar, not a "Chinaman", and he was going to give it to them. 

I mean, he wears a fedora with his Chinese clothing in his earliest scenes before switching to the kind of suits he wore in gangster pictures. Every time he speaks, you expect him to say, "Look, you muggs!" And, speaking as an old white guy, that's what makes him so entertaining in The Hatchet Man. 

The light shining off Young's sequined dress is
capable of causing temporary blindness.

Robinson being a white actor, it wouldn't make any sense to for him to have a real Chinese woman play his daughter. Enter Loretta Young, only 19 and still four years away from giving birth to Clark Gable's bastard child, to play his stepdaughter/wife. 

Hollywood having a thing for "exotic" Asian women, Young is a little more realistic than Robinson, although in the way that Chico Marx makes a more convincing Italian than, say, Barry Fitzgerald. You'd have to try to be less realistic.


As with other movies featuring young

Harry hopes he's not making love to a
mannequin.

Chinese characters raised in the good ol' USA, Toya and her beau Harry speak exclusively in American slang, making Charlie Chan's hipster #1 son sound like Christopher Plummer. (When was the last time you heard someone say, "I'll tell you what let's do!"?) 

Between his make-up and naturally unusual looks, Leslie Fenton, as Harry, can almost pass for the real thing. But again, I'm an old white guy who's totally out of touch with today's woke generation, so don't go by me. 

Robinson's about to wipe that smirk off Naish's face.

But you know who definitely can't pass for Chinese? J. Caroll Naish as the ill-fated victim of Robinson's hatchet. Naish stuffs as many Chinese cliches as he can into his  brief role of Sun Yat Ming. Shuffling walk, hands stuck into the opposite sleeves, tight lips... He doesn't even open his eyes, apparently believing that looking like he was asleep made him more authentically Chinese.

In trying so hard to be Chinese, Naish winds up giving The Hatchet Man's most ridiculous performance, which was pretty familiar territory for him. Naish made 40-year career of cultural stereotypes: Chinese, Japanese, German, Spanish, Native American, Irish -- no culture was safe from his endlessly insulting virtuosity. His biggest pejorative success was in the title role of the radio sitcom Life with Luigi from 1948-1953. He had less luck with the TV version, which so outraged Italian-Americans that he was fired and replaced midway through its first (and only) season. How you like, pisan?

Now that I think of it, the prologue could have been a little
more respectful, too.

Yet for all of Hatchet Man's derogatory portrayals, the character who probably comes off worst is a white interloper, Jim Malone, who tries reviving the hostility between the now-peaceful tongs for his own nefarious ends. Powerful white guy trying to bust up a minority? That ain't a stereotype -- that's reality.

Attending a sit-down between the two factions, Malone registers his displeasure  thusly: "Cut out this Chink lingo! Talk United States!" And if you think we've made progress since then, you could go on YouTube right now and find cellphone footage of somebody saying the same thing. 

This guy literally has an ax to grind.

The most interesting bit of Chinese culture -- one that really allows Robinson to remind you what a great actor he was -- comes when Wong and tong elder Nog Hong Fah catch Toya and Harry in an embrace. 

As Nog looks on in respect, Wong is ready to take his hatchet to Harry's skull. But when Toya assures him that Harry makes her happy, Wong lets them leave together. 

Disgusted that Wong didn't do his murderous duty as a husband, the tong, in today's parlance, cancels him. Almost overnight, Wong loses his business, home, and,

The movie was retitled The Honorable Mr. Wong in Australia,
where The Felling Axe Man wouldn't have had the same ring.

worse the respect of his community. Forced to sell all his worldly goods, he can find work only as a simple field hand, no better than the peasants surrounding him.

It almost physically hurts to see Robinson's characters reduced in stature because their pain feels so authentic. Even a movie as culturally-dated as The Hatchet Man allows him to register human emotions that everyone can empathize with. Sorrow at killing his best friend, love for his wife, fury at the man breaking up his marriage, shame at his rejection -- all are strong and convincing. 

Robinson is 38, Young is 19; they're in "yellowface"and ripping off
Chinese culture; he playing her stepfather and husband -- yeah, the kids
wouldn't go for this movie these days.

Ultimately, The Hatchet Man's greatest irony is if it had starred Chinese actors, it would have been culturally fascinating, but not nearly as (and here's that dirty word again) entertaining, particularly with Edward G. Robinson in the lead. And as with Old San Francisco, Generation Z or whatever they are today would likely call for its destruction. 

It is written in the hand of our ancestors: you kids don't know what you're missing.

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