Friday, May 8, 2020

BREAKING NEWS: 5/8/2020

When asked about Pres. Trump's personal valet being diagnosed with COVID-19, White House counselor Kellyanne Conway replied that reporters should "show respect" by wearing masks to press briefings.

Television viewers responded that they wish Kellyanne Conway do the same every time she's on camera.




Sex robots so realistic that you can hear their heartbeat and breath are ready to hit the market.

A spokesman for the manufacturer cautioned that most married men might want to proceed with caution, since they're unfamiliar with those reactions.



Saturday Night Live star Pete Davidson has told fans to stop dropping off drugs at the Staten Island house he shares with his mother.

Davidson advised them to meet him on the corner instead.






 Authorities in Georgia waited two months to arrest Gregory McMichael and his son Travis for the shotgun murder of Ahmaud Arbery, an unarmed black man, after a video of the crime was released. Reached by phone, the elder McMichael said, "There are many, many facts out there that have not come to light."

Asked for some examples, McMichael said, "Well for one, had we know we were being filmed, we'd have shot the photographer, too."


In Florida, body camera footage caught by a law enforcement official at a grocery store shows a man in a two-minute profanity-laden tirade about "a false flag, a fake pandemic."

Following his outburst, Mr. Trump was asked to leave the premises. 




Elon Musk and his pop singer girlfriend Grimes announced the birth of their child, whom they named X Æ A-12.

Asked how she came up with it, Grimes told reporters, "He's named in honor of the first emperor of my native solar system."

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1 comment:

Gary D said...

Thanks Kevin for reminding us that a sense of humour will help us through this global mess. Salutes from London!