TED END

It appears that a lifetime's worth of childhood food memories were, as the kids say, cancelled last week. The products and/or logos of Cream of Wheat, Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, and Eskimo Pie have joined Mia, the Land O' Lakes Indian Maiden, to trademark prison without chance of parole.

As you can see, there was never any insulting stereotype meant.

I think we can all agree how much progress we've made that the Eskimo Pie kid no longer says "Iggly gook", which doesn't really mean "I ain't mad at nobody." It's actually Eskimo Pie's main ingredient. But while the current Aunt Jemima looks like the head of the Human Resources department of a state university, Uncle Ben and Rastus -- yes, the Cream of Wheat chef is named Rastus -- look pretty much the same as they always did. If you think about it, it's actually impressive these logos lasted two decades into the 21st century.

The once-beloved figures have joined Confederate soldier statues, most of which were built either during the Klan revival of the 1920s or the early years of the civil rights movement. And while I haven't taken a poll, I'm pretty sure that my fellow New Yorkers are feeling mighty darned proud of how woke-with-a-capital-w they are regarding the fate of these symbols of racism.

If this were in Alabama, New York liberals
would fly there to tear it down.

So I await with interest the reaction of Upper West Siders to the upcoming removal of the statue that has been outside the entrance of the Museum of National History since 1940. Titled Equestrian Statue of Theodore Roosevelt, it's likely better known as The White Guy on Horseback with the Stereotypical Indian and Naked Black Guy Proudly Marching with Him.

In a city with roughly 250 statues, Teddy Roosevelt's is probably the most familiar to locals, following the Statue of Liberty and, perhaps, The Charging Bull, located near Wall Street. No matter that it was supposed to honor Roosevelt as a naturalist. Because with 2020 vision, it sure looks like the opposite of what the Statue of Liberty symbolizes.


It had been vandalized with red paint in 1971, but remained untouched for another 46 years before the gag was repeated again last Thursday. Speaking as a New Yorker since 1981, I confess surprise that it took as long as it did to get to this point.

Since moving here, I thought Teddy's statue looked, for lack of a better word, dated. While I wasn't personally offended (or, worse, offended on someone else's behalf), it baffled me how an otherwise hip, liberal city still kept the statue in such a place of prominence -- on Central Park West, no less! 

Skip to my goo.

Take a roll call of the proud New York liberals, past and present -- Alec Baldwin, Bette Midler, Woody Allen, Bill & Hillary, John & Yoko, Angelo & Maxie. Did any of them ever express disdain for Teddy and his minority sidekicks? Not likely. Equestrian Statue of Theodore Roosevelt is as much of the city landscape as Central Park, Times Square, and those mysterious black spots on sidewalks. Yet we probably notice it less than do tourists and the two minorities portrayed.  

Naturally, our Gangster-in-Chief disapproves of the statue's removal (does it surprise you?), even as Roosevelt's great-grandson not only understands but approves. As he noted, not all art is timeless. 

On the other hand, try telling that to Patrick DesJarlait, a member of the Red Lake Ojibwe Nation, who redesigned Mia, the Land O'Lakes logo in 1954, to accurately reflect his Native American heritage. Who's the racist now?
 

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