BLU-RAYS, WHITE ACTORS, AND GREEN MONEY

My classiest defensive look.

There’s no denying that it’s impossible to defend the indefensible. But is there a way to defend what you think is defensible without sounding defensive?

Sometimes, it comes down to what generation you’re from and who you know. Particularly if that person you know is me.

Confused enough? Great! Now let’s start where everything these days seems to have started: the COVID pandemic.

Several months of self-quarantining gave me the chance to tackle various chores around the house I’d have never gotten around to. Polishing the kitchen floor… scrubbing the mold from between the bathroom tiles… wondering if I was racist -- Wait, what?

Here’s where it helps if you know me.

They're coming to take me away, haha!

While clearing out some DVDs and alphabetizing the others – something I could do all day -- it occurred to me that some of the movies in my collection might not go over well with the Black Lives Matter protesters marching within shouting distance from my home every evening.

 Before you get the wrong idea, I’m not talking about videos exulting the Klan or Nazis. My movie collection includes folks who no longer cut the tolerance mustard: Charlie Chan, Mr. Moto, and Al Jolson. 

Warner Oland doesn't look too
pleased...

OK, maybe not Chan and Moto themselves, but the actors portraying them: Warner Oland and Peter Lorre. Or, to put it another way, a Swede playing a Chinese detective, and a Hungarian playing a Japanese-American secret agent.

 Sounds like atypical casting, right? Unless you were running a studio in the 1930s. Then it was guaranteed box office success. As the cliché goes, the only color Hollywood cares about is green.

Defensive Statement #1: Part of my enjoyment of the Moto and Chan movies is that the two characters are always the smartest guys in the room, outwitting both the cops and bad guys. And while Chan tends to shun violence, Moto has no problem with the occasional well-aimed judo flip. The characters and actors portraying them are seriously cool, charming people.

But Peter Lorre approves!

Of course, I would say that because I’m an old white guy who remembers when this kind of casting was still accepted by polite society. Anyone remember David Carradine in Kung Fu?

While I believe that Carradine, like Warner Oland and Peter Lorre, approached their characters with warmth and respect, I can’t admit anything good about Al Jolson’s occasional forays in blackface. All I can do is mutter “It was a different time”, and pour myself a glass of Pinot Noir. A sociologist, I’m not.

While blackface had long gone out of style when I was growing up, it still popped up in old movies and cartoons on TV. Even then, I figured it was once a common form of entertainment, just as I instinctively knew that it was no longer acceptable.

Jolson receives a tongue-lashing from his
father, the cantor --- played by Warner Oland!
Man, can't this guy stay in his own lane?

Defensive Statement #2: On the other hand, I believe The Jazz Singer is as important as any film ever released. It convinced the world that sound was the future of the movies. Watching the restored Blu-Ray with an open mind and a knowledge of cinema history, you can understand why The Jazz Singer caused such a sensation in 1927.

That’s easy for you to say, I hear someone declaring. You have literally no skin in the game. To which I can only reply, “Quite right”, and, pouring myself another Pinot Noir, wonder if I should have just kept my mouth shut from the get-go. 

That's not a protest march outside the premiere.

Now, I fully support America’s current soul-searching regarding racism. I’m especially proud of my daughter’s participation in the Black Lives Matter marches, and her demands that society live up to its promises of equality for all.

So, is it paradoxical, hypocritical, or just plain wrong of me to watch “troublesome” movies starring white actors playing minorities – or, in the case of The Jazz Singer, an ugly caricature of them during two songs in a movie nearly a century old? (Pointing out its age can count as Defensive Statement #3.)

Last Laugh Department:
The only actor from Gone With the
Wind on a postage stamp.

For many young people, there’s no choice: these movies are racist, period, and should never be seen again. To me, they’re time machines, our only way to visit the past, warts and all. Especially warts and all. And sometimes that’s the point -- it’s fascinating to see what was accepted not just before our time but during it as well.  

Instead of banning these films, as some would do with Gone with the Wind or The Birth of a Nation, maybe we can be grateful at how far we’ve come. Next season, a TV revival of Kung Fu will star an Asian – who is also a woman! 

But wither the famous Chinese detective? Isn't it his time for a revival, particularly in light of the recent hit Crazy Rich Asians? Well, as you might not have noticed,  it almost happened. One studio proudly announced a reboot of Charlie Chan as an action hero named Charles Chan, starring Russell Wong. 

That was in 1997 -- and not a peep since. It appears America -- or, rather, Hollywood -- just isn't ready for a Chinese actor playing a Chinese detective in a $100-million movie franchise. 

But here's a surefire entertaining idea. Hire a group of the finest African-American actors to play the Trumps, from the prez right down to Melania. Have them read the transcripts of what those grifters have said in the last four years in their best stage-trained voices. Then watch the MAGA crowd get offended because... well, because why, exactly?

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