It's a time of change in American culture, with old standards being questioned or overturned. Whether it's fat jokes, casual sexism, or racist humor, what was part of every day entertainment is accepted no more. We might be fast approaching the time to witness the elimination of the works by of the most famous poets of all -- ironically, the woman known as Mother Goose.
Let's see how three of America's most prominent news personalities are dealing with it.
passions are empowering women and shining a light on eating disorders, something I've suffered from throughout my life. But we should remember that men, too, are no strangers to conditions like anorexia. But what happens when both people in a relationship literally feed into each other's disorders?
I'm talking about Mr. & Mrs. Jack Spratt. Jack is a vegan who eats as little as possible, while his wife is the opposite -- a carnivore who consumes nothing but fatty foods. So desperate is Jack for nutrition, and his wife for fats, that they literally lick the platter clean at every meal.
We've explained countless times how these eating disorders have their roots in psychological problems dealing with self-worth. For Jack, it's as if he he sees himself in a funhouse mirror, appearing grotesquely fat. His wife, on the other hand, seems to be on an endless quest to fill a void in her life.
What can be done about these diseases that play no favorites when it comes to the sexes? Well, I'm going to be holding a virtual seminar on May 2. Called "Live It: Know Your Eating Values", it's a way for men and women to find their truths regarding their diets. And we're calling it "Live It" because it's the opposite of "Diet". I want all the Spratts out there to remember there's hope for them. Instead of licking the platter clean, let's eat with awareness.
Hm. Peter Peter -- whether this is a family tradition, or just a way to emphasize his "peter" the way many insecure men do -- I'm looking at you, Mr. Former President -- is not known.
Anyway. This Peter Peter -- who it says here is a "pumpkin eater" -- is that a new sport, competitive pumpkin eating? -- is married to... well, his wife's name is not given, so let's call her Mrs. Peter Peter for the time being. Mrs. Peter Peter -- I can't believe I just said that -- Mrs. Peter Peter appears to be separated from from Mr. Peter Peter. Although whether it was her choice or not is questionable.
Because Mr. Peter Peter apparently lost his job as a competitive pumpkin eater during the pandemic and can no longer care for her. Which would be a sad thing -- if it were true. But the report states that "Peter Peter couldn't keep her". That's right, "keep her" -- as if she were, oh, I don't know, a dog, or a vacuum cleaner. Or a plunger! What about a plunger? Everybody keeps plungers, right? The "bathroom bowl" sometimes needs to get unstuck once in a while, right? It's good to keep a plunger handy.
Now Peter Peter -- or Peter Squared, as I prefer -- is living in the house while Mrs. Peter Squared has been moved to -- and I'm not making this up -- a pumpkin shell. That's right. You heard me. In the year 2021, a woman has been thrown out of the house she formerly shared with her husband and is now living in a pumpkin shell. Because Peter Squared apparently has a surplus of pumpkin shells! Lots of composting drop-offs have been shut down the last year due to COVID, so the shells have been piling up like hail stones in a Texas tornado.
Closed composting stations is one thing. But forcing your wife to l move into a pumpkin shell, where she supposedly lives "very well"... and have it accepted by society? This is Donald Trump's America. Now, I know Donald Trump has been out of office for two months. But the ills created by his four years in office continues to reverberate, and will likely continue to for years, perhaps decades, to come.
Americans -- American women -- living in pumpkin shells.
We'll be right back.
But back to Billy Boy. It appears that the left is coming after Mr. Boy because of his admittedly unusual living arrangement with his wife. Mr. Boy's wife lives with her mother, while he presumably lives alone. He's said to visit her regularly. It's none of our business if these are conjugal visits, or whether they have an old-fashioned relationship, one that was fairly common in America from the 18th-century right through the Panic of 1893.
In other words, nothing to see here, folks. Unless... you're a paid-up member of the MeToo movement. Then Billy Boy becomes public enemy number one, guilty without benefit of trial, and worthy of the death penalty that the left otherwise decries for murderers and terrorists. Even as the target of their wrath is nicknamed by his friends "Charming Billy", and who describes his wife as "the joy of my life".
So why is the MeToo crowd calling for Billy Boy's head? Because his wife is described as "a young girl". Now what does that mean? Well, the age of consent in over half the states is 16. And that's not just in the South, where the left seems to believe that girls are chattel for their male relatives, but all of the liberal Northeast, including New York. That's right. You can have sexual intercourse with a high school sophomore on the Upper East Side, and take her out for bagel and lox at Zabar's in the morning.
So when they dredge up the 40 year-old story of Woody Allen having an affair with a 17 year-old girl who made the first move, remember that he wasn't breaking the law. By the way, remember when the left loved Woody Allen? If you're too young to remember, look up the New York Times slobbering reviews of his movies from way back when, including Manhattan, where Allen's character was sleeping with a 16 year-old! The Times didn't have a problem with it then.
Now as I stated at the top of this piece, we don't know if Mr. & Mrs. Boy are engaging in sexual relations. I would say it's unlikely, given that she lives with her mother. I mean, why not get a room at one of those by-the-hour motels? It certainly provides more privacy. But again, until we know all the facts, Billy Boy being married to what is described as "a young girl" -- and to me, a 25 year-old is a young girl -- we should let them lead their lives. As long as they don't implicate me. Because I don't recall meeting his wife in any context.
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1 comment:
🤣🤣🤣🤣Another great read! Thanks Kevin!
PS Rapunzel got sick of her lockdown hair and got a Mohawk...in pink.
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