30 ROCKS IN HIS HEAD

Any lawyer will say that it's a good idea
to get a window seat in a restaurant if you want to
maintain a low profile after killing someone.

 Only Alec Baldwin could negate even a half-gram of sympathy from people after  accidentally shooting two people, one fatally, on a movie set.

It's bad enough that his kids are likely going through the kind of teasing by schoolmates reserved only for the scions of deposed autocrats.  And while, until recently, they could likely use the old playground boast "My dad can beat up your dad!" with at least a little truth to back them up, there's absolutely no upside to "My dad can kill your mom!"

So you'd think Baldwin would use this downtime (from the movie Rust, if not his future career) by doing the sensible thing, like hiding out in one of his many homes with the shades drawn, and the local grocery store delivery service on speed dial.

In case it isn't obvious, Alec and the missus
are going out as clueless assholes.

Not our boy Alec! After his wife Hilaria (née Hillary) tried to gin up sympathy by bringing up his possible shooting-induced PTSD, they made with the funny by posting a Halloween family photo 10 days after the shooting.

I totally get the concept of trying to make life normal for the kids when Dad's being investigated for the negligent death of Halyna Hutchins. But nothing says "oblivious" like Mom and Dad laughing it up on Twitter while Hutchins' son was likely not in the mood to go trick-or-treating. 

Baldwin's post-killing reaction -- one part remorse mixed with three parts self-pity, four parts harridan wife, and five parts "life goes on, amirite?" -- further cement the idea in people's minds how utterly out of touch with reality showbiz folks are.

Hillary/Hilaria is pissed off at the press ruining her life
as the wife of a B-movie actor with anger-
control issues.

Take Baldwin's makeshift side-of-the-road press
conference. When he's not telling Hillary/Hilaria to make herself scarce, he's alternately mortified (more by the possible lawsuit heading his way than the two victims' fates) and complaining about the use of guns in movies -- while forgetting he's responsible for the script and production of a movie which features gunplay!

 

 

You expect me to be afraid of a guy whose best
performance was falling in love with a mermaid?

If you want to look at this situation another way, consider the reaction if Tom Hanks had pulled the trigger. People would have likely blamed the cinematographer and director for being his sight line. The mailman would get a hernia from delivering the millions of get-well cards from his fans. 

Nobody outside of the "I Hate Hollyweird" crowd would place any blame on Tom Hanks. He wasn't even convincing as a hitman in Road to Perdition! 

 

Well, this isn't going to age well.

But -- and I'm serious -- does Alec Baldwin have any fans? Sure, many people
loved his Trump routine on Saturday Night Live. They likely got a kick out of him on 30 Rock. But have you ever heard anyone say "Oh, I love Alec Baldwin!" or "I never miss an Alec Baldwin movie!" How many of his movies have you seen since Beetlejuice? (Bet you forgot he was even in that!) He couldn't even get people to watch his two talk shows. And why would anyone listen to his podcast?

I realize the previous paragraph is pretty rich coming from a two-bit blogger. But I don't need an udder to know a glass of sour milk when I taste it. (And if you understand that, please leave a comment.)

However, if I may speak as a background actor... I'm shocked that star/producer ran a production that allowed 500 rounds of ammo on the set, and hired an assistant director who admitted to not properly checking the gun in question. 

And after the trial, he could sing "Lydia the Tattooed
Lady".

Baldwin also hired an armorer whose press release -- allegedly written by real, honest-to-gosh lawyers -- is so riddled with poor grammar and obvious typos that the authors were either drunk or went to the same law school as J. Cheever Loophole. And at least he had some good jokes.

Every show I've worked on that involves firearms always starts the same way. The p.a. tells the extras in no uncertain terms to keep the guns POINTED DOWN when not on camera. And these are rubber props which are impossible to load. They're even less risky than cap guns I used to play with.

So while I certainly sympathize with Alec Baldwin the actor, as for Alec Baldwin the producer and human being -- well, this is what happens when it's no longer your mouth you're best known for shooting off. Here's hoping Hillary/Hilaria doesn't challenge the prenup when the divorce happens. Those royalty checks from 30 Rock won't last forever.

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