KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE A REPORTER

There's nothing like the combined hubris (hubri?) of three reporters and two actors to bring out the bitterness in a guy. And it's not like I'm discriminating against anyone. White, black, gay, straight -- all five dopes richly deserve the contempt coming their way.

Yup, you can definitely depend on
Don Lemon to be impartial when it
comes to reporting on Jussie Smollett.

Let's start with the small fish. Almost three years after trying to convince the world that
he was attacked by a couple of Trump-lovers who just happened to be carrying a rope and a bottle of bleach in the middle of a sub-freezing Chicago night, B-list actor Jussie Smollett had his day in court. 

Smollett's story hadn't aged like fine wine. But at least he added a new twist. During testimony, he let it be known that CNN anchor Don Lemon gave him a head's-up concerning investigators not believing him. To a simple blogger like me, this would seem to be cause for, at the very least, a month-long unpaid suspension for Lemon.

Zero conflict of interest here, either.

But this is CNN we're talking about -- a news network which, as far as I can tell, hasn't breathed a word of it. Perhaps it's because they're still loudly patting themselves on the back for finally getting rid of Chris "Fredo" Cuomo -- not so much for helping to find dirt on his brother's accusers, but being on the wrong end of a sexual harassment charge. Like big bro, like little bro, it seems. 

It's kind of sad that an alleged incident from over a decade ago takes precedent over a proven piece of current serious journalistic malpractice. Yet more interesting is that the people who should have gotten rid of Chris months ago are still receiving their hefty weekly checks. It's good to be Jeff Zucker's friend. If nothing else, you get to keep your job long after you shouldn't.

Baldwin's ready to kill again at the first sign of a
challenging question.

Let's switch the dial to ABC News' George Stephanopoulos. (Thank God I don't write about him very much; it's such a pain doing a copy and paste of his name.) George apparently thought it would be a good idea to interview his Long Island buddy Alec Baldwin. And by interview, I mean toss 1-MPH Nerf ball Baldwin's way.

Baldwin claiming he didn't aim or fire the gun at the late Halyna Hutchins, while simultaneously blaming her for her death? Refusing to take responsibility  for what happened on the set of Rust? Which former president, whom Badwin hates, does this sound like? Or, more to the point, which lawyer thought this interview was a good idea?

Just to make sure we know Steph was doing his best to protect Baldwin, he actually asked the brutally hard-hitting question, "What was it that drew you to [Rust] in the first place?" Holy hell, George, if your nose got any browner, it'd be mistaken for a brownie.

I'm not sure if this is his best or most unbelievable
performance since Glengarry Glen Ross.

In what was the most misguided actor's choice since Faye Dunaway played a teenage Evita Peron, Baldwin actually turned on the waterworks in a desperate play for sympathy from people who have already made up their minds against him. In fact, that only made things worse because, you know, he's an actor. 

Baldwin celebrates the season by threatening yet
another reporter.

Baldwin must have realized things went further south, because he's since turned off his Twitter account (for now), and has returned to form by charging a reporter for asking, in so many words, how  a bullet could fire from his gun when he didn't pull the trigger. That's the Alec we love!

Next time you leave your house, be sure to bring along a pocket-sized mirror with you -- just in case you run into a TV news host who wonders why the U.S. ranks last among 46 countries that mistrust the media. It'll save you the trouble of reading them this piece.

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