Thursday, February 3, 2022

BREAKING NEWS: 2/3/2022

Jeff Zucker has been removed from his position as CNN President for failing to
disclose a relationship with a subordinate, Allison Gollust

Gollust defended the relationship, telling reporters, "I thought I was sleeping with a Homer Simpson cosplay!"


Whoopi Goldberg has been given a two-week suspension from The View due to her questionable comments regarding the Holocaust.

Goldberg has defended herself from charges of antisemitism by pointing out that, as one of the stars of The View, she considers herself an honorary yenta.


Rudy Giuliani was revealed as one of the costumed contestants on Fox's The
Masked Singer.

Asked why the program hired the disgraced former New York Mayor, a spokesman for Fox said, "Herman Goering was unavailable." 


David Crosby, Stephen Stills, and Graham Nash have removed their music from Spotify in solidarity with Neil Young.

In response, Young thanked the trio, and reminded them that he would cut his throat before performing with them again.

Woody Allen has posted the lowest weekend box office of his career with his 49th movie, Rifkin's Festival, grossing only $24,000 from 26 theaters.

Hollywood insiders expressed surprise that audiences didn't want to see another movie about an old homely guy who tries without success to share his interest in 1920s jazz, Nietzche, and Ingmar Bergman movies with anyone until a hot, gorgeous woman 60 years his junior demands to have sex with him.

                                                             **************

1 comment:

MJ said...

Good grief! I've been trying to enlighten an old guy of my own generation regarding the uselessness of his trying to act like a stud. Comfort, not thrill, is all he ever again will be able to enjoy. But boys in the brain won't give up the impulse to act like a boy in other parts. If this is frequent, no wonder there are so many lonely old(er) women! Allen doesn't have much to offer in any case, IMO.

There are jokes about names here I can't bother with. Gotta go feed my cat .......