MOVIE OF THE DAY: "MYRT AND MARGE" (1933)

As with M-G-M'S Meet the Baron, Universal's Myrt and Marge makes the mistake of believing that radio success automatically insures a hit movie. While the former's lead character Baron Munchausen is endlessly annoying, the vaudevillians Myrt & Marge (in real life, the mother/daughter duo of Myrtle Vail and Donna Demoral) have all the screen presence of a wet sidewalk. 

Perhaps that's why they're surrounded by experienced character actors Eddie Foy, Jr., Thomas Jackson, and Trixie Friganza (whose very name would soon become a shorthand reference for washed-up entertainers).

Thomas Jackson stares down Trixie, Myrt, Marge,
and Eddie in a round of "Who's The Most
Forgotten Actor".

There's nothing particularly original about Myrt and Marge' story. A struggling theatrical troupe tries bringing their revue to New York, while dealing with their horny investor who wants to make it with the ingenue. You think he's in this for his health?

The score won't make you forget 42nd Street or any of the great Warner Bros.' musicals of the time, seeing that Myrt & Marge has two mediocre songs repeated ad nauseum. As for the choreography, well, Eddie Foy, Jr. has some nice eccentric tap steps. And I suppose the who-the-hell-are-they Colonette Ballet are OK, even if there's nothing remotely ballet about them. 

Now this is entertainment.

So what's the point of watching Myrt and Marge? The same thing that makes Meet the Baron a must-see for certain movie fans: co-stars Three Stooges (credited as Howard, Fine & Howard) with their mentor Ted Healy. 

And unlike their occasional appearances in features, here Ted and the Stooges are a fully integrated part of Myrt and Marge's story. In fact, they're first seen roughly 30 seconds into the movie, and keep turning up every few minutes. You'd almost think someone at Universal knew this picture needed some genuine laughs.

And for Stooge aficionados, those laughs come fast and furious. Similar to Meet the Baron, their material is so much better and precisely Stoogesque than what surrounds them that they and Healy must have written it themselves. More than any of their pre-Columbia features, Myrt and Marge presents "the boys" the way their fans like them, complete with the familiar sound effects for slaps, smacks and pokes, along with the guttural "Oh!" accompanying their pratfalls.

Many Stoogephiles look upon Ted Healy as they do rabies, but to me he's not only funny, but is David Letterman-like in his dry delivery and can-you-believe-this style, only funnier. Yes, I said it: Ted Healy is funnier than David Letterman. 

If nothing else, Healy haters should appreciate how Moe later adapted Healy's bossy persona, right down to grumbling "Recede!" when his cohorts get out of line. Curly even got his "woo-woo-woo!" from Ted. Give the guy some credit. 

The inimitable gusto of Bonnie Bonnell.

Joining Ted and the Stooges is the inexplicable Bonnie Bonnell, who at the time was part of their stage act (and, offstage, Healy's bed). Bonnell's style is difficult to describe in words other than "confounding", "bizarre", and "dumbfounding". Her voice manages to be both flat and too on-the-nose, with a delivery that suggests Frances Farmer's notorious post-lobotomy appearance on This is Your Life. As for her jokes, here's a sample exchange:

MOE: Hey, how old are you?

BONNIE: Well, the last time I was home, I hopped on my mother's knee and said, "Daddy, how old am I?"

TED: You hopped on your mother's knee and said, "Daddy, how old am I?"

BONNIE: Sure.

MOE: Oh, you call your mother "Daddy".

BONNIE: Soitenly!

TED: You know, this may be a personal question but what do you call your Daddy?

BONNIE: Oh, we don't call him, he has an alarm clock!

Overall, Bonnie seems to be aping Gracie Allen's scatterbrain persona, only without the latter's charm, timing, or winning personality. I've never been able to figure out if she's the most untalented woman to step in front of a movie camera, or the most ahead-of-her-time subversively funny. All I can tell you is once she broke up with Ted Healy, she never made another movie. 

Clarence is appalled that nobody else is as
well-dressed as him.

The only person to rival the Stooges for sheer hilarity is Ray Hedge as Clarence, the troupe's out-and-proud costumer, who makes Franklin Pangborn look like Victor Mature. 

As if realizing the days of such characters were coming to an end, Myrt and Marge's writers give Clarence as many gay jokes as they can, which he delivers in the typical singsong style of the time. Woke audiences of today wouldn't approve, but if you're hep to pre-code movies, double-entendre exchanges like the following are always fun:

CLARENCE: (helping a former investor with his overcoat) I hope you stick this lovely coat in your assets.

INVESTOR: You wouldn't wear it unless it had lace on it.

Even the Stooges get into the pre-code game during the final musical number, positioning themselves to look straight up the dancers' dresses, something they never would have gotten away with a year later.   

Vilmos Zsigmond couldn't have done it better.

The only other person connected to Myrt and Marge worth mentioning is director Al Boasberg, and that's because he's the guy who dreamed up the stateroom scene in A Night at the Opera. He does, however, provide one nice touch when filming the title characters in a mirror's reflection. I'm easily impressed that way.

 Myrt and Marge is a good watch on YouTube, seeing that it's only 62 minutes long and is one of those movies where the supporting actors completely overshadow the alleged stars. At least it gives Myrt and Marge themselves a chance to be briefly remembered, even while being completely ignored. 

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   To read about Ted Healy and the Three Stooges in Meet the Baron, go here.