THE SHADOW OF YOUR SNARL

Yup, there's a resemblance.

You might not have noticed, but there's a similarity between Alec Baldwin and groundhogs. Every February 2, the rodent comes out of his den. If he sees his shadow, it means six more weeks of winter. 

When the other rodent opens his mouth, it means six more weeks of bad press. And since Baldwin Day happens whenever he deems necessary, it's essentially bad press year-round. This week was no different.

Baldwin posted an Instagram video on Monday from England, where, believe it or not, he reported for duty on yet another low budget, straight-to-streaming B-movie nobody asked for. He called the experience "strange". 

Yeah, I'd say "strange" is a good way of putting it, since nobody expected him within a mile of a movie set so soon after he appeared to have ended his acting career literally with a bang. Desperate indie moviemakers will do whatever it takes to have their dreams come true, especially when they can find a star who isn't in any position to haggle over money. 

Being a philosopher at heart, Baldwin took the time to share his feelings about the business we call show, confiding to his fans, "We had our first day today, which is always tricky. I don't work as much as I used to." You don't say! It couldn't be because you're such a ham you should be covered in brown sugar.

The Master Thespian continued, "I said this before maybe, but you go to work and you forget what you're supposed to do. I just was like, 'Oh god, what do you do? What is acting, or any of this nonsense that I've ended up doing?'"

Baldwin's got the experience.

Good Lord, is there any actor alive who complains so much about being an actor? At least when Marlon Brando pulled that stunt, he had the talent to back up his ho-hum attitude. Baldwin thinks he's the logical successor to Brando when he's actually the illogical successor to Broderick Crawford, only not nearly as entertaining. 

Although I have to admit that the idea of Alec Baldwin starring in a reboot of Highway Patrol is appealing. Especially if he barked his closing statements regarding driving safety the same way, like Remember, leave your blood in the blood bank and not on the highway! Or, in Baldwin's case, the director and cinematographer's blood on the set.

"Hi folks, meet my wife! She's beautiful, talented,
and definitely not a Christ-killer!"

Well, if Kevin Spacey can return to acting -- first in Italy, then Croatia -- I guess Alec Baldwin has earned redemption. And Mel Gibson -- Mr. Rightwing Misogynist Homophobe Antisemite himself -- has a movie set for release by Sony Pictures (his first studio movie in years) on Easter Sunday. Maybe it helps that Gibson's wife -- 25 years his junior, naturally -- is the writer and director.

Come to think of it, Baldwin's negatives aren't much different than those of Mel "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" Gibson. And I bet if you dig deep enough, you just know Baldwin has said something similar -- and while sober.

So mazel tov, Alec. You're working again. Just make sure the gun's not loaded this time, OK? 

                                                               ******************