INTERACTIVE JUSTICE

 

Headline on Deadline.com, 7/10/24:

How To Watch Alec Baldwin’s ‘Rust’ 

Trial   

Any of the following choices will work:

1) With a large bowl of buttered popcorn sprinkled with paprika and parmesan.

2) While double-checking the spelling of "schadenfreude".

3) On a brand new 75-inch 4K HDTV to catch every moment Baldwin curses the prosecutor under his breath.

4) Taking a shot of Jack Daniels each time Baldwin uncannily resembles Donald Trump.

5) Fantasizing Lorne Michael and Tina Fey have blocking Baldwin's calls and emails. 

6) Hoping he resorts to the Baldwin we all know and love by referring to the witnesses "a cocksucking fag" and "toxic queen", and asking his "followers" to "straighten out this little bitch", whoever it is.

7) Shouting "Ole!" when his wife starts talking to the press in her phony Spanish accent.

8) Standing outside the courtroom posing as a reporter so as he walks by you can shout, "Mr. Baldwin, wasn't that taking the phrase 'movie shoot' a little too literally?"

9) Posing as a fan so you can shout, "We love you, Alec! Go in there with guns blazing!"

10) Serene in the belief that Baldwin's entire life was leading to this point.

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