JUST FORGET IT

Don't try so hard.

 I've made no secret of my disdain of fellow baby-boomers for their constant complaints about how nothing is as good as it used to be in their day. 

And, as they believe words like "Dumbocrat" and "Rethuglicans" are hilariously original, so do they their overuse of proclamations beginning with "I remember when", as in "I remember when you didn't have to show your ID to get on an airplane." 

These are the same people who, today, would have objected to seat belts, speed limits, and drivers licenses had they been introduced now. Here are some more "I remember whens" going around like a bad cold, with rejoinders guaranteed to shut them up, or, unfortunately, get them to respond with their own nasty comments.

I REMEMBER WHEN...

...climate change was called summer. I'm sorry, did you grow up in Death Valley?

... gays kept to themselves. Because they didn't want to get the shit kicked out of them.

... MTV played music videos. YouTube, my man, YouTube. And you don't have to wait two hours to see the video you tuned in for!

...  you weren't required to get vaccines. Not if you If you grew up before Jonas Salk helped save your life, you don't.

... pay phones. You do pay your iPhone bill regularly, yes?

... people got dressed up to go to a restaurant. When was the last time you wore a suit other than for work a funeral? Wait, you don't own a suit, do you?

... we could all laugh at jokes no matter what our color or background. Except for the people who were the butt of the jokes.

... kids went to school to learn, not be indoctrinated. How much algebra, history, and chemistry classes do you remember?

... you could wear suntan lotion instead of being told to wear sunblock. That's why you have skin cancer now.

... they were the Ten Commandments, not Suggestions. Except for the ones you broke.

... Top 40 music had real melodies. I've got 50 bucks that says you listened to Led Zeppelin.

... Pop songs had real lyrics. Wanna whole lotta love, wanna whole lotta love, wanna whole lotta love.

... news anchors gave you the news. And viewers believed in facts.

... you didn't have to pay for drinking water. I must have been out of the house the day government officials installed a pay slot on my faucets.

... we didn't talk in stupid slang like kids do now. Far out! You must've been hip! And groovy! What an outta sight time you lived in! Bummer things have changed. Gotta split now!

                                                                    ************