THEY ARE THE WORLD

Ready to take on the world,
one selfie at a time.

As we kick 2017 in the ass and look forward to a new year that threatens nuclear war with North Korea, fear not. Millennials are here to clean up the mess we've created. 

How do I know this? I googled the phrase "millennials will change the world". Over 41-million news articles and internet essays are convinced this is so. 

Well, thank goodness for that. The only problem is that I recall that my generation -- the baby-boomers -- were poised to do the same thing. We were the ones preaching peace and love. We were the ones promising equality for all. We were the ones promoting free thinking, healthy debate, and an end to the dictatorial powers of "The Man". Good times, right?

Who would you trust with your
daughter?

So who were the boomers who floated to the top of the political, entertainment and business worlds -- or at least close enough to the top to make a difference? Donald Trump. Mike Pence. Harvey Weinstein. Hillary Clinton. The Koch Brothers. Ben Carson. Ted Cruz. Paul Ryan. Mitch McConnell. Matt Lauer. Roy Moore. Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Anybody named Huckabee. Alex Jones. Paul LePage, rightly named by Politico as America's craziest governor. Most of the politicians south of the Mason-Dixon Line, and plenty north of it (I'm thinking of you, Bill deBlasio.) 

So what the heck happened to the boomers? That's easy to explain. Most of them smoked dope and talked about changing the world. The rest of them actually did. Unfortunately, those were the ones who were never into that peace and love stuff to begin with.

Quick -- Antifa or ISIS?

I'm not sure that I have much more faith in the millenials. Guys like Mark Zuckerberg, who created a censorship tool in order to get Facebook on China's computers. Dylan Roof, the killer of nine people at a church in Charleston, South Carolina. Kylie Jenner, who puts her spare time to good use posting selfies. James Fields, the young man who drove his car into a crowd of protesters in Charlottesville, Virginia, killing one and injuring 19. The Antifa crowd that decided the best way to change the world for the better was to smash windows, set buildings on fire, and prevent people they didn't like from speaking at colleges. These are the people changing the world even as we speak.

But at least they gave us the selfie-stick, skinny suits, a resurgence of Pabst Beer, Banana Luxury Powder, and unboxing videos. I guess we might be in good shape after all. Happy New Year, one and all!

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