SNOW JOB

When you want the real truth about sleet.

 As if he hasn't done enough damage to the United States with Fox News, Rupert
Murdoch is ready to launch something called Fox Weather. As a spokeswoman explained, "Fox Weather is busy preparing the debut of our innovative platform to deliver critical coverage to an incredibly underserved market." 

Right now, there are three channels devoted to weather in the US, along with countless websites and streaming services. What's their definition of "underserved"? Oh, I know: rubes who don't trust people who know what they're talking about!

Lest you think Fox Weather is nothing more than a rip-off of the Weather Channel, they promise to provide “in-depth reporting surrounding all weather conditions, and we are excited to showcase to viewers what a full-service comprehensive weather platform can deliver beginning this fall.” That means you can count on blondes in short skirts. Anything to make killer tornadoes go down a little more easily

More socialist propaganda.

As with the Weather Channel, Fox will also have weather-related reality series, including Frozen Gold, which will focus on amateur miners in Greenland, where melting ice has exposed mineral deposits. At last, some good news about climate change!

 

Murdoch is likely proud to have the most loyal zombies viewers in all of television. So is he worried that Fox News ratings will drop if enough of them switch to his Weather network to get fair and balanced reporting regarding mostly cloudy with a 40% chance of showers? Perhaps a Fox News personality will drop by Fox Weather to give his perspective.

TUCKER CARLSON: I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little tired of weathermen -- wait,
ANTIFA want us to say weather people now, right? --  OK, let's just call them what they are, weather guessers -- telling us what to wear every time we have to leave the house. 

Here at Fox Weather, we don't tell you how to dress for any kind of weather. In fact, we're not even going to have any of those, what do you call them, meteorologists. I mean, who needs a so-called scientist to tell you what your own eyes can see for themselves? If it's sunny, you can see it! If it's raining, you can see it! And if you're blind -- wait a sec, here we go again, visually challenged -- (chuckle) -- my God, it takes twice as long to say everything now then when we were kids -- if you're visually challenged, you can stand next to the window and feel the sunshine, hear the rain, feel the cold. 

 

And speaking of heat, that's not climate change you're feeling. That's hot weather -- you know, the kind you get in the summer. It happens, people. The left is trying to tell you that it's not supposed to be hot on the 4th of July or the middle of August. Next thing you know, ol' slow Joe Biden and his Democrat friends will try to outlaw summer. 

Talk about going against the will of Americans! You just watch, come winter, if it goes above 20 degrees -- that's Fahrenheit, the real way to measure the temperature, not Celsius --  by the way, do you know anybody who isn't a socialist who uses Celsius degrees? -- or do they call it decrees, you know like a government order? -- if the temperature goes above 20, suddenly the left is going to be screaming "global warming!", when the rest of us will be praying for spring to arrive sooner than normal. Which, let's face it, is what we really want. I don't know about you, but here in Washington I love the idea of cherry blossoms blooming in Februrary.

So today's forecast is: weather. Get used to it folks, it's here to stay. Now a word from My Pillow.

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