THE DINOSAUR OF ALBANY

Cuomo displays his feeling-up technique one last time.

We were vacationing on the Jersey shore went Old King Cuomo gave up his crown. Me being without my laptop, my snarky response would be delayed a few days -- a loss to my several readers.

Too, I missed the chance to see the local reporters and news anchors stick the shiv into the disgraced Governor, as they had been merely taking slices off his skin since the Attorney General's report came down. 

Only last Friday, Bill Ritter, the co-anchor for WABC-TV's 6:00 pm news, stated that Cuomo "would rather chew ice" than resign. It appears, then, that the former "most feared man in Albany" has weaker teeth than many thought.

I never understood why people thought Cuomo would never resign. Not only were the charges against him reprehensible, he had about as much support among state Democrats as a picket fence does in a hurricane. He had already gotten the picture when news reports stated that an impeachment and conviction was not just likely, but inevitable. 

The first tip-off that they're going to resign.

So Cuomo, like Richard Nixon, quit not because he had done anything wrong, but for losing the support of the people who counted most: the people with the power to say "Guilty on all counts". Oh, and to spare the rest of us the agony and cost of such a trial. So thoughtful.

While driving back to New York yesterday, we listened to WNYC's Brian Lehrer interview David Patterson. Patterson, you likely don't remember, was New York's Lieutenant Governor who had to take over the top spot when Eliot Spitzer resigned over a sexual scandal (prostitutes, not government employees). 

You should get a transcript of the interview if it's available. For not only was Patterson intelligent, concise, and often very funny, he gave fascinating insight regarding both Spitzer and Cuomo. The best part came when he talked about getting tapped for the Lt. Governor position during the 2006 campaign. Andrew Cuomo, who coveted the job, started calling lawmakers in Albany to warn them Patterson was morally and politically unfit for the job.

Cuomo tries gently easing Patterson off the cliff.

Word got back to Patterson, who then called Cuomo in an understandable huff. According to Patterson, Cuomo denied the charge, going so far as to say "I swear on my mother's grave it isn't true." Since his mother was still alive, maybe that was how he got around it. 

As I noted in an earlier post, many self-described Cuomosexuals are now self-identifying as another gender. In his resignation speech, Cuomo would only admit only to not realizing his gestures (like feeling up women under their blouses?) were no longer acceptable, calling himself "a dinosaur" in that respect. Being so out of touch, it's surprising he didn't use the species name "Guidosaurus." 

Fox, meet henhouse.

But you know who still feels the love? Roberta Kaplan, who a few days ago had to resign as the head of Time's Up, the organization formed by movie actresses to fight sexual harassment. Kaplan showed her loyalty to the cause by advising Cuomo regarding the charges against him and attacking the credibility of one of his accusers. Is it sexist to call Kaplan a political whore? 

Alec Baldwin on the prowl for another
man to punch or women to insult.

A more predictable die-hard Cuomosexual is Alec Baldwin, who never misses an opportunity to retain his position as The Biggest Jack-Off in Show Business. The uber-ultra-extra liberal Baldwin, who once punched a guy in the jaw over a parking space, called his daughter "a thoughtless little pig", and is no stranger to homophobic language, mourned the political passing of Andrew Cuomo thusly:

“Regardless of what you think of Cuomo, this is a tragic day. Party politics in this country draw ambitious but ultimately isolated, even socially maladjusted men and women who, given the current cancel culture, will likely have their shortcomings exposed and magnified.”

Anybody else believe that Baldwin was thinking of himself at that moment? 

Kaplan and Baldwin are of the generation that will go after sexual harassers/abusers with hammer, tongs, and whatever other tools are handy... as long as the accused have an R rather than a D as a political identifier. It's no coincidence that the post-baby boomers have contempt for anyone named Clinton or Kennedy -- and now Cuomo.

What, me worry?

Yup, even Andrew's meathead brother Chris, the CNN anchor who must have incriminating photos of Jeff Zucker. Ever since Chris admitted to helping his big bro craft talking points which essentially called his accusers liars, the number of women who watch his nightly news show has dropped from 453,000 to 76,000. Funny how things like that work out.

Sex scandal, supporters and insiders resigning, suffering professionally or just making fools of themselves -- who does that sound like to you? Perhaps Cuomo should have heeded Donald Trump's advice at the former's bachelor party in 1990. Trump, then going through a nasty divorce from his then-wife Ivana, told him via video, "Whatever you do, Andrew, don't ever, ever fool around."

When Donald Trump feels the need to offer sage advice about all matters sexual, you know there are bad days ahead -- even if it takes three decades to come around.

By the way, what are the odds CNN offers him a job as "Special Contributor" within a year? I'm taking bets now.

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