Fifty-three year-old grandmother Andrea Sunshine credits her toned physique to a strict exercise regimen and eating 150 eggs a month.Sunshine also goes through two strips of bacon a day to replace her eyebrows.
Yoko Ono has commandeered some of the largest LED billboards in major metropolitan areas to broadcast the phrase "Imagine Peace".Viewers said it was easier than imagining how John Lennon fell for a crackpot like her.
Tweeting about Voldymyr Zelensky's video address to Congress, Wall Street
investor and radio host Peter Schiff said, "I understand times are hard, but doesn't the President of Ukraine own a suit?"In response, Vladimir Putin thanked Schiff for briefly replacing him as the most repulsive person in the world.
Pennsylvania Republican Senate candidate and TV personality Dr. Mehmet Oz said, if elected, he would give up security clearance in order to keep his dual Turkish-American citizenship.Oz added, "If I could keep my medical license after shilling drug scams, this should be a snap!"
The Senate voted unanimously to abolish Standard Time in favor of Daylight Saving year-round.Describing it as a rare 100% bipartisan vote, an anonymous Senator said, "It was easier than voting for better healthcare, clean water, and accessible elections."
In the wake of crippling sanctions by the U.S. Russian Parliament member Oleg Matveychev is demanding reparations from the US, including the return Alaska.Mataveychev withdrew the demand when informed Sarah Palin came with the deal.
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