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| C'mon, Kate, just do what Meghan does, and cash in! |
the rest of us is the ability to convince streaming platforms that they're worth tens of millions of dollars.
In what was a shock only to people who have lifetime subscriptions to Royals Monthly, Spotify has rolled back the red carpet for Harry & Megan. They were unable to provide more than a dozen episodes of their Archetypes podcast, a series estimated to have cost the company $20-million.
You have to feel sorry for all those royal-obsessed maniacs who ponied up $9.99 monthly for a premium Spotify subscription just to have it go kablooey in a matter of weeks. Actually, no you don't.
I figured the title Archetypes was a none-too subtle way to plug the couple's Archewell Foundation, an alleged philanthropic foundation whose 990 Form (explaining their exemption from income tax) shows over $13,000,000 in donations vs over $9,000,000 in expenses -- three times the amount of grants given out. Man, where has this philanthropic stuff been all my life?
The Archetypes podcast was a similar grift, seeing that its purpose was to "investigate, dissect, and subvert the labels that try to hold women back". Sounds very noble... as in noble gas. I ask the jury to examine a few of Archetypes' guests and their estimated worth:
SERENA WILLIAMS: $260-million. MARIAH CAREY: $350-million. MINDY KAILING: $40-million. PARIS HILTON: $300-million...
There are more, but I think you get the picture. And the caption to that picture is WHO THE HELL IS HOLDING THESE WOMEN BACK? Man, I should have it as bad as any of these people. And so should your average woman who could give the real lowdown on what it's like to make it in the real world.
Ah, but there's the problem. Harry & Megan don't know your average anybody. Spotify spent $20-million for a celebrity talk show that's one shakey step above The View.
These two phonies are actually smarter than I gave them credit for. For not only did Harry do nothing on this podcast for his eight-figure share of the mess of pottage, Meghan has allegedly maneuvered herself into being the next face of Dior, while plugging other brands online for $26,000 per post. I guess being paid $47-million by Dolce & Gabbana to wear their wedding dress didn't go far enough.
People were stunned when Laurence Olivier shilled for Polaroid cameras in the '70s. The concept of Harry following in Johnny Depp's rambling footsteps doing the same for Dior cologne shouldn't be too farfetched. Hey, his wife has influence there!
Postscript: Mariah Carey -- known for lip-synching in concert and plagiarizing other people's music -- got her step up in show business by marrying the president of the record company. Paris Hilton first became famous in a sex video, and has made her fortune by doing absolutely nothing of value. Just what are they archetypes of anyway?
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1 comment:
There is a book of charity organizations that’s a reference for people wanting to identify those organizations or causes they want to support. Among the background info provided is the percentage of donated money used for overhead. When that percentage gets up around 30-40%, I always struck them from consideration. This royal shaft of a charity is embarrassingly into the land of grift.
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