AFTER THE GOLDRUSH

Are you rich enough to be noble? Like, I-will-walk-the-walk-24/7-in-my- homemade-sneakers-while-snacking-on-my-homegrown-kale-sandwiches-on-my-homebaked-bread-made-with-my-locally-farmground-flour kind of noble? 

If so, congratulations. This note is not for you. It's for the rest of us who have sold our souls to The Man -- what we otherwise call living our lives. The ones who make small choices to do good, even when it's not enough for multi-multi-millionaires like Neil Young.

Dressing like a poor slob doesn't fool me, Neil.

In case you haven't heard, Young is taking a stand against corporate America by pulling his music from Amazon. Such sacrifice! (Mr. Heart of Gold pulled a similar stunt a few years back with Spotify, because it platformed Joe Rogan.)

As Neil yells at us on his website (in caps like Donald Trump -- oh the irony!), “FORGET AMAZON AND WHOLE FOODS. FORGET FACEBOOK. BUY LOCAL. BUY DIRECT. BEZOS SUPPORTS THIS GOVERNMENT. IT DOES NOT SUPPORT YOU OR ME." 

Well, of course "this government" doesn't support Young, because he currently lives in Canada. Yes, Mr. Soul can afford to pack up and move back to the land of his birth when things don't quite suit him here. Old man, look at my life, I'm absolutely nothing like you are...

I could be a wiseass -- and I know that sounds utterly out of character -- and say that Whole Foods is local, seeing it's a 15-minute walk from my home. But I understand what he's saying. Unfortunately, the farmers market I buy from is open only on Saturdays, so the other six days it's gotta be at a (gasp!) grocery store.

Don't tell Neil; he might whine like he does
when he sings.

And I choose Whole Foods for strictly financial reasons. Despite its reputation, its prices are often lower than its competitors. Too, I have the Whole Foods Visa card, which gives a 5% refund on every purchase (as it does on Amazon). And at the end of every year, I put what I've saved toward Christmas gifts for my wife and daughter. Hence, Whole Foods helps me be a wonderful husband and father.

As for his other bugaboo, I used into drop into local record stores all the time... until they started vanishing from New York one by one. Yes, Neil, it's easier and cheaper to download from Amazon, especially when I want only one or two songs (alas, not yours) rather than entre albums. 

Neil Young -- who, four years ago, sold half his publishing rights for a tasty $150-million -- likely can afford to drive his refurbished Chryslers, Plymouths, and the like to any "local" greenmarket that he likes. Good for him. All I ask of this phony hippie is to leave the rest of us alone. 

Look, Neil, we all have to mambo with Mephistopheles from time to time. Us ordinary folk try to make up for it in our own ways, like voting for the candidates we agree with and making nutritious meals for our families, even when the ingredients are purchased from stores that a one-percenter in torn jeans and faded t-shirts doesn't like.

When Neil Young admonishes us that "We all have to give up something from the Corporate Age", he's coming from the point of view of a guy who has sold close to 100-million records and has bought and sold more multi-million-dollar homes than you or I will even drive past. What he's giving up is nothing. 

And just to show you how full of it Neil Young is, a year or so after his previous boycott, Young allowed his music back on Spotify, as he probably will do with Amazon, when he realizes only Taylor Swift fans buy actual compact discs. 

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