ALL ABOARD!

I feel bad for kids these days. What must they think when they see stocks falling like Great America's Drop Tower? The job market being transformed into a convention of robots? 

And don't get me started on rents! I recently found a cancelled check from my first New York apartment circa 1981. While I haven't got it in front of me, it was in the range of $400 -- and that was split with my roommate. That $400 will now get you a place in line to bid for the same apartment which now goes for $2,500.

Twenty-three year-old Leonie Müller of Germany decided she had enough of sky-high rents -- although, in her case, sky-high meant $450. What on earth could be cheaper than that? A train ticket? Why, yes, as a matter of fact. The Washington Post reports: 

[Müeller] bought a [$380] subscription that allows her to board every train in the country for free. Now, Müller washes her hair in the train bathroom and writes her college papers while traveling at a speed of up to 190 mph. She says that she enjoys the liberty she has experienced since she gave up her apartment. "I really feel at home on trains, and can visit so many more friends and cities. It's like being on vacation all the time," Müller said.

Not everybody is adept at living on trains.

Man, you couldn't pay my daughter $380 to wash her hair in an Amtrak bathroom. So much for her calling the Northeast Regional home.

And speaking of Amtrak, the food on German trains has got to be better than what you can get here. Müller probably gets the finest sauerbraten, sauerkraut, and any other sauer food $380 a month can buy.

As for her personal belongings, everything fits in a backpack. Do I envy her! I've made two trips to my daughter's off-campus housing in the last month, and she still doesn't have everything yet. Just the price of car rentals is approaching her tuition. 

Yes indeed, Ms. Müller is one resourceful Fraulein. Living on a train between classes can't be the easiest way to live, but somehow she's done it. That "somehow", however, comes near the end of article:

Müller frequently travels late at night, although she tries to sleep at the apartments of relatives or friends. Often, she is accommodated by her boyfriend, her mother or grandmother.

I used to know people like this, only they traveled on the subway, and we called them freeloaders. While I'm sure the BF has no problem with Müller dropping by for what the Germans call anschließen, her friends, she reports, "feel offended by the fact that I question the ordinary way of life and living."

This is homeless?

Nein, Ms. Müller. I think they've had it with you mooching off them for your own professional reasons -- like giving interviews to network news programs, and keeping a blog where you laughingly refer to yourself as "homeless." I see homeless people in New York everyday, and none of them look as spanking clean and made-up as this girl. And when they travel on the subway, they carry not a backpack with an iPad and clean clothes, but an aura of stink that allows them to have the car all to themselves. 

I will bet my last Deutsche mark that Müller's scheme from the beginning was not to save money or prove a point or even seek adventure, but to turn her blog into a best-selling book, which would then land her a travel show. It's obvious, phony and manipulative, and I'm sorry I didn't think of it first.

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