BREAKING NEWS: 7/28/15

Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is not backing away from his strident criticism of President Barack Obama and the Iranian nuclear deal. Over the weekend, Huckabee said that by trusting Iran to abide by the deal, President Obama "will take the Israelis and march them to the door of the oven.”

In related news, a poll taken in states south of the Mason-Dixon line showed an overwhelming rise in popularity for the president and the deal.

The hacker who shut down the New York magazine website just hours after they revealed their cover with 35 of Bill Cosby's alleged victims claimed he did so because he hated the city on a recent visit.

The anonymous hacker's complaint about New York was that he "couldn't find any Jell-O Pudding or drugstores that would fill my prescription for sleeping pills."

A message about safety is now being played at the AMC Theatres. It states, "If you happen to see any suspiciously strange characters or bad agendas, report them to our crew."

Movie fans were quick to agree that the worst agenda they've seen was Netflix signing a 4-picture deal with Adam Sandler.

An apparent Islamic State recruitment document found in Pakistan’s lawless tribal lands reveals that the extremist group has grand ambitions of triggering a war to provoke an Armageddon-like “end of the world.”

In response, Sen. Rick Santorum said, "It's nice to finally see eye-to-eye with these people."

A condition known as mirror touch synesthesia has been diagnosed in neurologist Dr. Joel Salinas, allowing him to feel his patient's pain.

Oddly, this condition disappears when it comes to time to give them the bill.

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