Tuesday, July 14, 2015

BREAKING NEWS 7/14/15 : IRAN DEAL EDITION

President Barack Obama announced this morning that an historic nuclear arms deal with Iran had been reached. Republican presidential candidates wasted little time in commenting on the agreement.

Lindsay Graham said, "I condemn this so-called deal completely out of hand even without reading it. That's how much I hate it." Jeb Bush tweeted, "I have no idea what's in it, but it stinks like my barn when the help takes the day off. #bad deal." Rick Perry told reporters, "I haven't read word one of this thing, but you know what? I don't have to because I don't like it already."

George Pataki's press release explained, "As a three-term Governor, I know a bad deal without even knowing what it is." Scott Walker told Matt Lauer, "Don't tell me about it. It's useless." Ted Cruz's official website featured an image of a torn piece of paper marked DEAL, underneath which read, "Don't waste your time reading it. I sure won't." Chris Christie said, "The only deal I'm interested in is the Thursday special at Bob's Big Boy."

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