BREAKING NEWS: 11/5/15

Thanks to its beneficial use in fertilizer, fuel and even medicine, excrement is expected to become the next big moneymaking business.

Scientists say the biggest samples are coming from Washington and Hollywood.

A lamb sacrifice was performed to protect a man from harm and evil just days before he was ejected in a fatal car crash, landing on a freeway sign in California.

When notified of the accident, his cousin said, "I knew we should've used a goat!" 

British pop sensation Adele admits that she's frightened of being famous.

She made the comment in the latest issue of Rolling Stone, with a photo of her taking up the entire cover, and Adele printed in large font just to let you know she's inside plugging her new album.

Jim Bazen, the principal of Plymouth Christian High School in Grand Rapids,Michigan, has sparked fury after stating that women who don’t dress ‘respectfully’ are inviting young men to treat them as nothing more than sex objects. 

Bazen added, "Not that I know what treating females like sex objects entails." 

A young Afghan woman was stoned to death after being accused of adultery, officials said Tuesday.

An hour later, the men responsible received a contribution request from Rick Santorum.

Manuela Herzer, 51, the ex-girlfriend of Sumner Redstone, 92, may be gearing up to go to war with his family after the billionaire had her kicked out of his life, claiming that the media mogul is not of sound mind.

Family spokesman Brad Lanes told reporters, "She willingly had sex with this guy -- and he's not of sound mind?"

                                             *********************