TOO WORDY FOR WORDS

The official face of ISIS.

If you thought that yesterday's massacre at Istanbul's Ataturk Airport was the work of terrorists, think again! Secretary of State John Kerry reminded us the culprits were "stateless criminal actors." 

I guess that's typical bureaucratic lingo, but to me it conjures up images of freelance day players in '40s gangster movies.

It also conjures up reasons why there are many people who believe the Obama administration is terrified of "terrorists" -- the word, not the people. If we just replace scary-sounding words with intellectually-sounding phrases, the problem will go away. 

It's not just the feds. Watch the news sometime. Nobody is ever described as having died anymore; they've all "passed away." Seventy-three people killed in a plane crash?  Nope -- you're likely to hear that "73 souls were lost." Is any authority figure in America not afraid of talking to adults as if they were, well, adults?

If this keeps up, within a generation our entire way of speaking will be altered.

Car crash: Deleterious Vehicular Usage 

Abortion: Early Desinent Nascency 

Addiction: Extreme Inclination of a Physical and/or Psychological Pathway

Unemployed: Occupationally Unengaged

Broke: Functionally Unprosperous

Dead Soldiers: Permanently Inanimate Service Persons

Poverty: Acute Monetary Exiguity

Rape: Unwanted Intimate Comportment Without Regard to Reproductive Desire 

Underpaid Worker: Subjacent Recompensed Hireling

Child Abuse: Neonate Desecration

Politician: Dissimulator Par Excellence

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