THE KINSEY REPORT

Some news stories are so sad that they're funny. And as with a good Laurel & Hardy gag, you laugh even as you know exactly what's going to happen.

Get out your SPF 70 bullet-proof vest.

Charles Kinsey, a social worker in Miami, was just doing his job, watching over his autistic client. The unnamed client decided it was time to sit in the middle of the street and play with his toy truck.

Let's stop right there. If this happened in mid-town Manhattan -- which it wouldn't because there's too much traffic, but let's say it did -- the first thing people would do is point their cellphones at the guys. There wouldn't be any need to call the authorities, since mid-town is already jumping with cops, some packing serious, post-9/11 heat. 

But the good residents of Miami, being more likely to get hit by the zika virus than either people playing in the middle of the road or terrorists, aren't used to events like this. So instead, an eagle-eyed do-gooder reported that someone was trying to kill himself, presumably with a toy truck. 

Sizing up a psychologically-challenged person with a knickknack and a black guy armed only with his arms, the cops immediately took cover behind telephone poles, and ordered the two men to lie down and put their hands up. 

For God's sake, somebody take out those desperadoes!

Charles Kinsey was in a jam. First, he had to take the cops seriously. (Did I mention his skin color?)  However, he also takes his job seriously. 

Let's let the news site tell the rest of the story:

As Kinsey was pleading with the man to get down on the ground and raise his hands, one of the officers fired a shot that hit Kinsey in his left leg.

In an interview with NBC Miami, Kinsey’s attorney Hilton Napoleon said that the officer who shot Kinsey admitted that he had no idea why he fired his weapon.

“My client asked why did you shoot me? The officer told my client, ‘I don’t know,’ that was his words verbatim,” he said. “Another officer asked, ‘Why did you shoot this guy?’ and the shooting officer said he didn’t know why he shot him.”

Whew. Thank God. For a moment, I thought that Miami cops were trained to stop suicides by shooting them first. 

But back to the cop's explanation: I don't know why I shot him. Let me give you three tries, Officer Skippy. 

1. What's the opposite of armed?
2. What's the opposite of white?
3. What's the opposite of woman?

Whenever a cop is involved in a case like this, many on the right immediately do a Google search to find if the victim had a rap sheet -- as if that's excuse enough to fire away. Many on the left immediately start shutting down traffic in cities around the country. Never the twain shall meet.

Here, then is a clear-cut case where both sides can stand together and say This is not right. But as of this writing, I hear of no planned protests from the left; no sense of outrage or at least sorrow on the right. The former is too busy throwing urine at members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Cleveland, while the latter is calling for Hillary Clinton's death either by firing squad or the noose. 

Protesters throwing piss in public, and politicos feeling no compunction about calling for a candidate's death: Welcome to the United States, 2016. And with the popularity numbers of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump at record-breaking lows, things will only get worse no matter who's elected. Here's another nice mess we've gotten ourselves into!

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