BREAKING NEWS: 8/10/16

The man known only as the "Imperial Wizard" of Virginia's Rebel Brigade of the Ku Klux Klan has come out in support of Donald Trump for president, telling WWBT News, "The reason a lot of Klan members like Trump is because a lot of what he believes in, we believe in."

In response, Trump spokesman Chester Hooten told reporters, "Hey, it could be worse. I mean, we could have the Nazis on our side!"

In a radio interview earlier this week, Rocky Suhayda, the leader of the American Nazi Party, said that Donald Trump's election would provide "a real opportunity" for them to grow in strength and influence.

Trump spokesman Chester Hooten pooh-poohed the comment. "Nazis, Shmazis! They're so 1939! Now, Communists, those people would be dangerous!"

The official news website of the American Communist Party, People's World, has come out in support of Hillary Clinton.

Clinton spokesman Brad Lanes laughed off the editorial with, "Big deal! What is this, the 1950s? The pro-terrorist crowd supporting us, that would be a problem."

Seddique Mateen, the an anti-gay, pro-Taliban father of Omar Mateen, who killed 49 people at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, attended a Hillary Clinton rally in Kissimmee, Florida earlier this week.

Clinton spokesman Brad Lanes brushed off Mateen's appearance, adding, "Hey, he's just one person. At least no one's saying Democrats endorse killings for political reasons!"


Wikileaks founder Julian Assange suggested that the Democratic National Committee killed Seth Rich, a DNC staffer for allegedly being a "source" for Hillary Clinton's leaked emails.

Trump spokesman Chester Hooten tweeted, "Wiki assertion should be looked into.
Donald Trump would never be accused of such a thing!"

In what sounded like a call for the assassination of Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump suggested that "Second Amendment people" could prevent her from appointing anti-gun Supreme Court judges if she were to become president.

Trump spokesman Chester Hooten laughed off the interpretation, noting, "Trust me, the voters know exactly what he meant."


Trump adviser Al Baldasaro called Hillary Clinton "a piece of garbage" who should be "put in the firing line and shot for treason."

Trump spokesman Chester Hooten, informed of the comments, told reporters, "I said voters, not advisers!"

In the latest RealClear Politics polling average, Donald Trump has a 60.9% unfavorable rating, while Hillary Clinton's unfavorables are at 53.3% .

When it was pointed out to the site that the unfavorables total to over 100% of the voters, a spokesman asked, "And your point is?"



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