BREAKING NEWS: 7/6/17

Thirty people have signed on to participate in a Russian Hunger Games-style reality survival show, where they will have to hunt down criminals on a remote Siberian island, and where neither fighting, rape nor murder is prohibited.

The producers said it's a remake of The Chicago 11:00 News.

In Brazil, goalkeeper Bruno Fernandes de Souza has returned to playing soccer seven years after having the mother of his child abducted, tortured, murdered, and fed to a pack of dogs.

In explaining the brief prison sentence, police spokesman Diego Mierda said, "The dogs were hungry."





Sydney Smith, 30, of Los Angeles, has given up her dream of having her neck stretched after wearing five pounds of rings around her neck for five years. Smith said she was "obsessed" with giraffes.

She came up with the idea shortly after becoming obsessed with idiots.







Alexander Rasumny has organized the "Rent-A-Jew" project in Germany in order to promote cultural understanding and dialogue by offering face-to-face encounters with Jews.


"The catch is," Rasumny admitted, "their mothers have to meet you first so they can find out what you do for a living."

The Democratic National Committee this week asked party members to vote for their favorite bumper sticker to coincide with the 2018 elections. Slogans include "She Persisted, We Resisted", "Resist Persist" and "Democrats 2018: I Mean, Have You Seen the Other Guys?"

When asked why the DNC went this route, spokesman Brad Lanes told reporters, "It's easier than coming up with a winning strategy."

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