When asked if this helped to shape Trump's positions regarding Russia, Cohen replied, "Nyet."
Schneiderman explained that the role he was playing was that of a sociopathic, hypocritical New York Attorney General who was getting a pass on his behavior from fellow Democrats for years.
In an essay written for the New York Times Review of Books, Reah Bravo, a former unpaid intern for Charlie Rose, says that the disgraced news anchor forced her to unclog a toilet "brimming with feces" before groping her.
In a statement to the Times, Rose said that it was the least he could do for her.
Thanks to a water main break caused by a sinkhole yesterday, bathrooms at Philadelphia International Airport were covered in blood, urine and feces.
As the clean-up got underway, Airport officials received a call from Charlie Rose, who told them, "I know someone who could help."
Special Counsel Robert Mueller has rejected Rudy Giuliani's proposal that Pres. Trump answer any questions in writing.
Mueller added that he would be willing to revisit the possibility once Trump learns how to write.
The Mormon Church announced that it will be severing ties with the Boy Scouts, a week after the organization officially changed its name to Scouts BSA and started admitting girls.
A spokesman for the Church explained, "As with other religious institutions, our leaders want nothing to do with anything other than young boys."
Informed of Trump's visit, one of the former captives said, "That's OK, we're used to getting tortured in the middle of the night."
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