GOOD LORD?

Farrakhan's album has since been re-released under
the title In an Anti-Semitic Mood.

A four year-old interview with Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan recently surfaced. In it, Farrakhan -- a former calypso singer once known as The Charmer, and better known now as the Jew-hater with the Pepsodent smile -- called for an end to integration, and the creation of a black state because it's "what God wants." 

Now don't you go questioning him. Farrakhan's title is "Honorable Minister", meaning he's got a direct line to the Sky Chief. You should be so honorable.

Election Day, 2016.

It isn't just racial matters God's interested in; he's been sticking His holy nose into politics, too, as Sarah Huckabee-Sanders explained during an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network. "God," she said, "wanted Donald Trump to become president." 

Sorry, kids, God's gotta get to the
polls before they close.

This is apparently the one time where it's perfectly OK for non-citizens to throw a presidential election. Forget about Heaven's Gate. What we need is a jumbo-sized wall around Paradise.

Let's recap. When it comes to things like church leaders raping children and nuns (as the Pope recently admitted), disease, starvation, earthquakes, poverty -- pretty much what makes the world go 'round -- God is strictly hands-off. But when the Al Capone of Fifth Avenue glides down an escalator, suddenly He's all about taking an interest in our well-being. 

Earth's representative of
God's love.

Why did God decide to tip the scales on Election Day? According to Huckabee-Sanders, Trump "supports a lot of the things that people of faith really care about." People of faith, then, support shutting down the government for a month, calling neo-Nazis "good people", and putting children in cages. People of faith like a president who boasts of being a sexual predator, acts like Mussolini with a bad combover, and who couldn't utter a truthful sentence even if it meant he could finally sleep with his daughter. 

Sarah Huckabee-Sanders should know, because she's a proud Christian, too. No wonder I don't go to church. 

And if we're to believe Louis Farrakhan -- and why not, since Women's March co-founder Tamika Mallory recently referred to him as "the greatest leader of all times" --  God is also a racial segregationist and anti-Semite (which, when you consider what Jews have gone through, isn't much of a stretch). Have a good time at the next march, ladies! Just be sure to keep your Star of David necklace at home.

Give Satan worshippers some credit. They have no problem calling their guy "the devil" out loud. 

And at least Al Capone paid his bills. 

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