PHISHING FOR COVID

When doing a Google Image search of Lurie Gusta, I found this
photo of Jeff Sessions. In no way am I claiming that Jeff Sessions
is behind this horrible scam. But his picture does come up in connection
with Lurie Gusta. I leave the rest to you.

Last week, my wife received an email from a person named Lurie Gusta. In the Subject line was one of Sue's passwords. In a low-key charming way, Gusta made three startling claims:

1) He had found the password on a porn site, and
2) hacked into Sue's webcam where he recorded Sue engaging in behavior of "a masturbatory kind", and 
3) threatened to send the video to six random people on her contact list unless she coughed up $2000 in bitcoin.

Sue was horrified -- she had no idea how to buy bitcoin. Oh, and the video didn't exist and never did, because this was a phishing scam that had been in operation for a few years. In my best Jack Webb voice, I advised her to delete the email and forget about it.

"And while I'm at it, I'll fry Pluto, too!"

I recount this story not just because it was hilarious to watch Sue's reaction as she read it, but because a new email with a similar theme is making the rounds. 

The sender does the usual "I have your passwords/contacts," palaver, but gives it a twist. He threatens to inject the recipient and their family with COVID-19 unless the recipient sends $4000 in bitcoin, double the threat Sue received. Which shows you that inflation is affecting even the scammers.

It's shocking not that anyone would dream up this kind of extortion attempt, but that anyone would fall for it. Yet this is where COVID-19 has brought us. And if there are people who think that drinking Clorox will prevent them from getting sick, then you can bet enough of them will fall for this scheme.

And fat, too.

But the genius part, I believe, of the email is that it's signed "Nikita." Most people, after laughing their way through the email, would quickly realize that was a way-too obvious stab at a threateningly exotic name. 

Your typical Clorox-swigger, however, will likely think, Hey! That's Russian, ain't it? That means he's Russian! Russians are smart. So this Nikita must know what he's doing. 

With that in mind, somebody ought to send a similar email to the current resident of the White House:

What do I know about you? I know your password is iamhotforhos69. 

Do I have your attention? I know every dirty secret in your life. I know that you like declaring bankruptcy, don't like paying your bills, and really enjoy dividing Americans by political party, state, religion, race, TV viewing habits, sports, hobbies, brands of TV dinners, shoe sizes -- anything you can dream of.

I am aware of your whereabouts (in front of the TV until noon, then from 3:00 on), what you eat (junk), with whom you talk (do the names Rush and Sean ring a bell?), every little thing you do during the day (which is nothing else than what I just told you). 

I also know your wife holds you in deep contempt, and would leave you now if you didn't have the power to send her back to her home in Novo Mesto, Slovenia. I also know "Novo Mesto" means "New Town." Pretty good, hunh?

Know what else I know? That you are a sociopath who lacks any drop of empathy, and sees the pandemic only through the prism of "How will this affect my re-election chances?" That you have surrounded yourselves with lackies, suck-ups, and incompetents who are holding on to their miserable jobs in hopes of getting a well-paid gig as a Fox News contributor. That, if given the chance, you would send your kids -- or at least Eric, Don Jr. and Tiffany -- to the gallows if it meant one more day in office. 

What am I capable of doing? 

If I want, I could inject you and your family with a super-duper potion that would make all of you intelligent, kind, honest, and ready to show the world the best in American leadership. No more banality, anger, or appealing in the worst of people. An understanding that it's better to win the respect of the majority through good deeds rather than appeal to the minority with grievances -- a minority you and I both know you have nothing in common with. 

What should you do?

Sen me $1,000,000 in bitcoin (or dollars, whatever you can get your hands on faster), and I promise you'll never have to go through the hell I just outlined. Otherwise, Ivanka will never be yours.

Vlad

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